for Courtroom8/5/2004 c1 
37KM Barringer
Wow... hope you got an A+ on it, because I loe this one! Even if you didn't, here's an A+ from me!
37KM BarringerWow... hope you got an A+ on it, because I loe this one! Even if you didn't, here's an A+ from me!
5/1/2004 c1 81daphnegray78
This is very well written. I really like the imagery you used...it really added to the atmosphere of the story. Great work!
81daphnegray78This is very well written. I really like the imagery you used...it really added to the atmosphere of the story. Great work!
4/21/2004 c1 76CoolBeans18s
Wow, this is interesting! The mood and tone you have set for this piece are just perfect for the senerio. I also liked how you never said what he was accused of. That added a nice element of mystery to this story! Very well written - I liked it!
~ CoolBeans18s
76CoolBeans18sWow, this is interesting! The mood and tone you have set for this piece are just perfect for the senerio. I also liked how you never said what he was accused of. That added a nice element of mystery to this story! Very well written - I liked it!
~ CoolBeans18s
4/16/2004 c1 Niph speaks thing won't let me login
Your description is wonderful, Abunai.
I was a little disappointed, though, not to know what the man was charged for. I guess that's an element of your writing that is so intriguing. You never fill in all the blanks, which keeps your reader reading.
Great Job!
Your description is wonderful, Abunai.
I was a little disappointed, though, not to know what the man was charged for. I guess that's an element of your writing that is so intriguing. You never fill in all the blanks, which keeps your reader reading.
Great Job!
4/15/2004 c1 148JJR Meerraf
Sorry for reviewing late, I was on vacation.
This was pretty good. Different, as you said, but good. You depicted the suspense very well, it was almost like a movie or something. Excellent work
148JJR MeerrafSorry for reviewing late, I was on vacation.
This was pretty good. Different, as you said, but good. You depicted the suspense very well, it was almost like a movie or something. Excellent work
4/14/2004 c1 14Getuie
One mistake I'm going to note first (at least I think it's a mistake) "that is was of no consequence to him" - that IT was?
Well, as you've said in the note it was to practice descriptions and your descriptions made the story basically. I mean, we don't really know what the dude did or what evidence was against him or anything in terms of story. It was the focus on the admosphere that kinda made it, you know? And your descriptions are better than mine... I can't describe to save my own life *winks*.
Keep practicing at it. I know you're more keen on poetry and haiku's in particular, but I'd love to see how you'd fare in writing a story.
14GetuieOne mistake I'm going to note first (at least I think it's a mistake) "that is was of no consequence to him" - that IT was?
Well, as you've said in the note it was to practice descriptions and your descriptions made the story basically. I mean, we don't really know what the dude did or what evidence was against him or anything in terms of story. It was the focus on the admosphere that kinda made it, you know? And your descriptions are better than mine... I can't describe to save my own life *winks*.
Keep practicing at it. I know you're more keen on poetry and haiku's in particular, but I'd love to see how you'd fare in writing a story.
4/11/2004 c1 PainKiller
There is kinda cool there, Chikara! I liked the mood and tone that you were able to set with your vivid descriptions. Only thing that would be needed to change was the tense in "what¡¦s more, that is"; that should be "what was more, that it was". Other than that, I enjoyed it very much!
There is kinda cool there, Chikara! I liked the mood and tone that you were able to set with your vivid descriptions. Only thing that would be needed to change was the tense in "what¡¦s more, that is"; that should be "what was more, that it was". Other than that, I enjoyed it very much!