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7/14/2005 c1 2Oddrie
I don't think you realize that it's almost impossible to read this chapter. It's one big blog of black letters. Gosh, I don't want to sound like an elementary school writing teacher but, where are your paragraphs?
5/29/2005 c1 3Ballerina with a Gun
Fix the format, please! It sounds like a wonderful story, but lack of absolutely any paragraphs is so confusing.
4/21/2003 c1 critic
i havent read this story based just on the fact that there are no paragraphs. one big clump is just mean to the readers.
11/2/2002 c1 Raberba girl
Oh boy...I can't read ANYTHING that long that is squished into a single paragraph. .
3/22/2001 c1 Firedew
That was a great story! Keep writing! :)
7/31/2000 c1 Amara Iceheart
ohhh! is there more? there's better be or I'm gonna be mad!
6/11/2000 c1 Marissa
I'd love to read it, it sounds very interesting, but I'd appreciate it if you could work on the formatting first.
4/11/2000 c1 Articuno
Really good story! Kudos to you. Though, are you going to continue it? I'd like to know more about Glare, and they both seem to be interesting characters. Great job!

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