for Tarpeia of Carthage4/5/2005 c3 
16Islandbreeze
Very nice start with these chapters here, you say you didn't portray their friendship well, but I think you showed it nicely. Good job- nice end to ch 3, write another chapter!
16IslandbreezeVery nice start with these chapters here, you say you didn't portray their friendship well, but I think you showed it nicely. Good job- nice end to ch 3, write another chapter!
7/19/2004 c3 16kaika switched
Weird story. I think you write it very well, though. More description here or there would be nice, but still, a very good story as is. Keep writing!
16kaika switchedWeird story. I think you write it very well, though. More description here or there would be nice, but still, a very good story as is. Keep writing!
6/20/2004 c3 BeyonceOutkast
Love the story. I never knew u had it in u girl. Keep up the good work. I want MORE! ^_^;
-B/O;P
P.S. Cant wait 4 the party either!
Love the story. I never knew u had it in u girl. Keep up the good work. I want MORE! ^_^;
-B/O;P
P.S. Cant wait 4 the party either!
6/14/2004 c3 9Chione
You're not horrible at writing. In fact, you're probably one of the best eleven year old writer's I've read. The story could use a little more description, or characterization or something-sorry, my mind just went blank and I can't think of the word-but otherwise it's wonderful!
Update soon! And yea. . .okay, I'm going now. . . . .
9ChioneYou're not horrible at writing. In fact, you're probably one of the best eleven year old writer's I've read. The story could use a little more description, or characterization or something-sorry, my mind just went blank and I can't think of the word-but otherwise it's wonderful!
Update soon! And yea. . .okay, I'm going now. . . . .
6/12/2004 c3 highliter
Luv the story hun! Itz off the hook n banging! Can't wait 4 more!UPDATE!
-Tori McMellan aka TommyGirl
Luv the story hun! Itz off the hook n banging! Can't wait 4 more!UPDATE!
-Tori McMellan aka TommyGirl
6/11/2004 c3 SweetLowe8
Awesome story!
-SL8)
Awesome story!
-SL8)
6/6/2004 c3 13arwen-evenstar89
I can't wait to read more! The only thing I noticed was that the story could be a little better if you were more decriptive about the settings and things! I STILL LOVE THIS STORY!
13arwen-evenstar89I can't wait to read more! The only thing I noticed was that the story could be a little better if you were more decriptive about the settings and things! I STILL LOVE THIS STORY!
5/29/2004 c3 2kelley1987
Pretty good so far. I wonder who's the guy behind her? Hmm..very interesting. ;). Well, just wanted to return the favor and review back! :). Update soon!
2kelley1987Pretty good so far. I wonder who's the guy behind her? Hmm..very interesting. ;). Well, just wanted to return the favor and review back! :). Update soon!
5/28/2004 c3 LisaLisa
Beautifully done and thanks 4 reviewing my story! Yours is so much better!
You can IM anytime on AIM and my sn is:
xXHottieChickXx
Thnx, c ya!
Beautifully done and thanks 4 reviewing my story! Yours is so much better!
You can IM anytime on AIM and my sn is:
xXHottieChickXx
Thnx, c ya!
5/25/2004 c3 4anatidaephobiac
...Are you sure you're only 11? Are you like a supergenius or something? Your writing is awesome... The story is awesome...
Are you serious 11? (can't comprehend this)
If you write like this now, I can only imagine how you'll be when you get older...
Update soon!
4anatidaephobiac...Are you sure you're only 11? Are you like a supergenius or something? Your writing is awesome... The story is awesome...
Are you serious 11? (can't comprehend this)
If you write like this now, I can only imagine how you'll be when you get older...
Update soon!
5/23/2004 c3 1shyXshortieXbabe
no way! You're 11! how! well, i mean I know how. but how! Thats about 4 years younger than me and i really don't think i could've done better with this story. Very impressive. haha, my 11 year old brother wouldn't know what half of the words that you're using are. awesome work, keep it up.
1shyXshortieXbabeno way! You're 11! how! well, i mean I know how. but how! Thats about 4 years younger than me and i really don't think i could've done better with this story. Very impressive. haha, my 11 year old brother wouldn't know what half of the words that you're using are. awesome work, keep it up.
5/23/2004 c3 Jackie-san
Awesome story! Can't wait 4 more otherwise I'll kill u! Whoopss...heheh that wasn't meant to come out...
-Jackie Baby Blue-
Awesome story! Can't wait 4 more otherwise I'll kill u! Whoopss...heheh that wasn't meant to come out...
-Jackie Baby Blue-