for Cursed5/31/2008 c21 
4nirnas
First of all, I didn't review all the other chapters because I was so hooked. So, here is my review. Forgive any spelling errors as I am in a rush.
Anyways - I love Alli as a character. She is spunky but clumsy, and not very confident of herself. To top that off, she has a mysterious power to read minds. It's really a very good blend. All in all, I think she's well developed.
The contrast between her and Tristan is also very satisfying; I also like the fact that Alli can't really read Tristan's mind...I wonder how he would react if she told him about this uncanny ability to read thoughts.
Moving on, I don't think that this story is moving too slowly. All the parts are carefully fleshed out, and I can get a good understanding and grip of each chapter. Keep up the good work, and I shall be looking forward to more chapters!
Sorry that the review was so long, but this story deserves it. ^-^
4nirnasFirst of all, I didn't review all the other chapters because I was so hooked. So, here is my review. Forgive any spelling errors as I am in a rush.
Anyways - I love Alli as a character. She is spunky but clumsy, and not very confident of herself. To top that off, she has a mysterious power to read minds. It's really a very good blend. All in all, I think she's well developed.
The contrast between her and Tristan is also very satisfying; I also like the fact that Alli can't really read Tristan's mind...I wonder how he would react if she told him about this uncanny ability to read thoughts.
Moving on, I don't think that this story is moving too slowly. All the parts are carefully fleshed out, and I can get a good understanding and grip of each chapter. Keep up the good work, and I shall be looking forward to more chapters!
Sorry that the review was so long, but this story deserves it. ^-^
1/11/2008 c21 Trory4ever
really great story. i cant wait to see what is going to happen next. and I know all about hectic life things getting in the way and time going by way too fast. congrats with keeping up with everything and i look forward to the next chapter. keep up the great work
Michelle
really great story. i cant wait to see what is going to happen next. and I know all about hectic life things getting in the way and time going by way too fast. congrats with keeping up with everything and i look forward to the next chapter. keep up the great work
Michelle
1/10/2008 c21 28Blackened Blood
I Love this story, very well writing and i love the plot. Please update soon!
28Blackened BloodI Love this story, very well writing and i love the plot. Please update soon!
1/4/2008 c21 Skeeter the Groundhog
yay! they kissed! hooray for happy moments!
it's about time you updated, but i must say i haven't done much better. i'm glad things are going well for you and keep up the good work!
yay! they kissed! hooray for happy moments!
it's about time you updated, but i must say i haven't done much better. i'm glad things are going well for you and keep up the good work!
1/4/2008 c2 person with a smile
this is random, but i like how you don't have to be a "member" of fictionpress just to comment.
this is also random, but I always wished that some hot guy lived near enough to go to my bus stop.
Laugh out loud! I love what she says to the guy at her bus stop!
All I have to say is "Por dearrie..."
this is random, but i like how you don't have to be a "member" of fictionpress just to comment.
this is also random, but I always wished that some hot guy lived near enough to go to my bus stop.
Laugh out loud! I love what she says to the guy at her bus stop!
All I have to say is "Por dearrie..."
1/4/2008 c1 smiles make my day
You know, i never really knew what tourette's was. I just thought it was weird people whogrunted and said profane words without meaning to. But now I see that it really isn't all that, so I'm going to read your story, because it seems really awesome and you seem like a pretty awesome writer.
I feel bad for the narrator. I mean, to go through school like that. Even the most mundane incidents at my school get me upset. I can't imagine having tics as well...
did tristan's dad sell the house they lived in?
i think you should revamp the first chapter a little bit, though. there's an error somewhere in the middle when the narrator trips katherine in elementary school.
Also, What the ﾨC ? Was she kidding me?
that's there too. Somewhere. do a ctrl+find.
good job, i really enjoy this!
You know, i never really knew what tourette's was. I just thought it was weird people whogrunted and said profane words without meaning to. But now I see that it really isn't all that, so I'm going to read your story, because it seems really awesome and you seem like a pretty awesome writer.
I feel bad for the narrator. I mean, to go through school like that. Even the most mundane incidents at my school get me upset. I can't imagine having tics as well...
did tristan's dad sell the house they lived in?
i think you should revamp the first chapter a little bit, though. there's an error somewhere in the middle when the narrator trips katherine in elementary school.
Also, What the ﾨC ? Was she kidding me?
that's there too. Somewhere. do a ctrl+find.
good job, i really enjoy this!
1/2/2008 c21 38secret thoughts revealed
hi finally so she confronts him at last sort of. great chapter hope it doesnt take too long till we get the next installment
38secret thoughts revealedhi finally so she confronts him at last sort of. great chapter hope it doesnt take too long till we get the next installment
1/1/2008 c4 Guest
just to mention something...falling asleep on the roof is never a safe thing. Nor is traversing around on one. But that's just me. =] Wow, Alli has very interesting character. She makes a reference to being a superhero but the notion never occurred to me! But in a way, yeah, she kinda is a superhero!
Another thought-wow, you wrote this story before the Ipod, didn't you? Because it's CD player, not Ipod.
OOh, laugh! She nearly ran over Tristan!
Wow, I love your story! Please keep updating!=]
just to mention something...falling asleep on the roof is never a safe thing. Nor is traversing around on one. But that's just me. =] Wow, Alli has very interesting character. She makes a reference to being a superhero but the notion never occurred to me! But in a way, yeah, she kinda is a superhero!
Another thought-wow, you wrote this story before the Ipod, didn't you? Because it's CD player, not Ipod.
OOh, laugh! She nearly ran over Tristan!
Wow, I love your story! Please keep updating!=]
1/1/2008 c21 9Adeleste
Wow, might I saw that, though the wait, this chapter was exceptional? I had this giddy smile on my face the entire time, similar to the smile on my face whenever there's mr. darcy. Alli is such a great character, because we can actually relate to her. Though she is SLIGHTLY on the paranoid side, it's realistic-congrats, you didn't overdo anything.
More drama. This is good. So who's it going to be between-Tristan or Lucius? And what's the major conflict of the story? I'm curious! Please update soon, you are a superlative author. From the sounds of it, life is pretty busy for you, but of course-college apps! Good luck on them, but I have this gut feeling that you'll do fine.
*squeal* Tristan and Alli kiss!
Oh. Right. Did I not establish that that was the hilight of this chapter?
Much love,
.Adeleste.
9AdelesteWow, might I saw that, though the wait, this chapter was exceptional? I had this giddy smile on my face the entire time, similar to the smile on my face whenever there's mr. darcy. Alli is such a great character, because we can actually relate to her. Though she is SLIGHTLY on the paranoid side, it's realistic-congrats, you didn't overdo anything.
More drama. This is good. So who's it going to be between-Tristan or Lucius? And what's the major conflict of the story? I'm curious! Please update soon, you are a superlative author. From the sounds of it, life is pretty busy for you, but of course-college apps! Good luck on them, but I have this gut feeling that you'll do fine.
*squeal* Tristan and Alli kiss!
Oh. Right. Did I not establish that that was the hilight of this chapter?
Much love,
.Adeleste.
2/21/2007 c20 RW W
Great chap, even thru the irony that I'm going to a professional phantom production in the near future ~.~
Great chap, even thru the irony that I'm going to a professional phantom production in the near future ~.~
2/15/2007 c5 rw w
bwahahahahaha i was correct! im not gunna actually leave usful r&rs until theyl be of use... + i right them on my psp and its a pain...
bwahahahahaha i was correct! im not gunna actually leave usful r&rs until theyl be of use... + i right them on my psp and its a pain...