
7/20/2004 c1
16RuathaWehrling
Hey there, Jade!
Well, I'm a bookoholic myself, so I'm definitely with you on the matter of this poem! :) I especially liked the first line.
However, you should really take a look at the rhythm of it. Your lines consist of anywhere between 5 and 8 syllables, randomly, which is way too much variety for such a short poem. Try to read through it in cadence, and figure out where to add or subtract words to make it flow better.
Take care!
Ruatha

Hey there, Jade!
Well, I'm a bookoholic myself, so I'm definitely with you on the matter of this poem! :) I especially liked the first line.
However, you should really take a look at the rhythm of it. Your lines consist of anywhere between 5 and 8 syllables, randomly, which is way too much variety for such a short poem. Try to read through it in cadence, and figure out where to add or subtract words to make it flow better.
Take care!
Ruatha