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for Not Your Time

4/26/2005 c1 34Skiv
Woo hoo for being reviewed! I notced a few flaws in this, but they're all honest mistakes.

In the first part, when you say sweet child twice, you only cap'ed the first "Sweet." Then later in the poem you say "Sweet child" again, and it's cap'ed. You also say "dear child." Should that not also be cap'ed?

"Why struggle when it seems noone cares?" No one dearie. Noone looks like you had a typo on noon. But I mean this in a very loving manner.

. But did you really hear him at all?Now that is just a simple typo, you put a period at the start of the line. Or was that ment to be there?

"Your love, your mother and now friends," Methinks that would sound better as "Your love, your mother and now your friends."

Out of curiousity, why do you put a period before "Or do you care?" everytime you put it?

Last line, another period? Why? Why I say? *grins*

All in all it was a nice poem, I'd suggest cutting it up into sections, so it doesn't seem so... Unorderly. It had a nice flow, and normally I don't like poems this style. I liked the rhyming, how it wasn't like... Perfect. If that makes sense. *beams* Loves ya! *hugs*

~`Skiv
7/19/2004 c1 106cosmo-queen
This is a beautiful, inspirational poem and has a wonderful flow to it. In the past few days, I've seen how important it is for someone who is dying to be surrounded by people who love them and care for them. I'm only sorry I didn't review this earlier, but after rereading some of your reviews, I was ashamed that I hadn't even thanked you for your kindness, for which I am very grateful. Shadows may linger but your words shine.
*cosmo-queen*
6/12/2004 c1 6Windy Mountain
Hey again,lol,
this was a good poem! one thing i'm noticing, you seem to write about death and sickness and lost love a lot lately. i almost feel like some of the last few things have the same kind of theme.(not that that's a bad thing, of course.just thought i'd say that...lol.)
Caitlin Serene Schendel
P.s.-no, never heard of nightwish. i could look into it... do you listen to it? Are they good? lol.

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