for Devil's Playground3/22/2007 c4 
4jammi
Although you haven't updated in a couple of months I'd really like to see where this is going although I already have an idea.
Update when you can because this story is really interesting.
Oh, and at one point you said 'complement' but it's compliment with an 'i' in the context you used it. :)
4jammiAlthough you haven't updated in a couple of months I'd really like to see where this is going although I already have an idea.
Update when you can because this story is really interesting.
Oh, and at one point you said 'complement' but it's compliment with an 'i' in the context you used it. :)
3/20/2007 c4 4dotcult
Let me start by saying that i am a BIG fan of the story, and i don't say that to cushion you for any scathing remarks. i just want to motivate you in the updating direction. Very good, just make sure that you don't have static characters. You've made the main character almost unable to respond to Connor, even when he's being nice (which is well and good for a bit, you seem ready to change it so that's good), but Connor- well, you haven't given him the opportunity (until maybe next chapter) to be the nice guy we all know he can be. That's my only suggestion- keep an eye on your characters' development!
4dotcultLet me start by saying that i am a BIG fan of the story, and i don't say that to cushion you for any scathing remarks. i just want to motivate you in the updating direction. Very good, just make sure that you don't have static characters. You've made the main character almost unable to respond to Connor, even when he's being nice (which is well and good for a bit, you seem ready to change it so that's good), but Connor- well, you haven't given him the opportunity (until maybe next chapter) to be the nice guy we all know he can be. That's my only suggestion- keep an eye on your characters' development!
12/6/2006 c4 2ooies
^^ good post... except... i think you should make a seperate chapter for the charter that you kinda slipped in without notice... what happened to the party? what happened on that charter? it was all so rushed... i think you should seriously consider redoing this chapter and splitting it up and putting more details into the chater.
2ooies^^ good post... except... i think you should make a seperate chapter for the charter that you kinda slipped in without notice... what happened to the party? what happened on that charter? it was all so rushed... i think you should seriously consider redoing this chapter and splitting it up and putting more details into the chater.
12/6/2006 c4 1Shake Hips Not Fists
Your right, it did go a bit fast, but it was interesting.
Is Josh ever going to show up in upcoming chapters? :)
Keep up the great work.
1Shake Hips Not FistsYour right, it did go a bit fast, but it was interesting.
Is Josh ever going to show up in upcoming chapters? :)
Keep up the great work.
11/24/2006 c3 xpressgirl
AWESOME STORY!...love it...u make the love hate cliche relationship not cliche!...UPDATE!
AWESOME STORY!...love it...u make the love hate cliche relationship not cliche!...UPDATE!
11/23/2006 c3 rawndy
whoaa fighting like cats and dogs. lol and isn't about 130 reviews for 3 chapters enough encouragement? ;]
whoaa fighting like cats and dogs. lol and isn't about 130 reviews for 3 chapters enough encouragement? ;]
11/16/2006 c3 4Underestimated
Just no touchy... I like it. I don't like Connor. And I'm a little shaky about Anna right now too. If you can, let us get to know them a bit better. Show us a soft side. Just a little one. Otherwise keep it up. I look forward to the next chapter!
4UnderestimatedJust no touchy... I like it. I don't like Connor. And I'm a little shaky about Anna right now too. If you can, let us get to know them a bit better. Show us a soft side. Just a little one. Otherwise keep it up. I look forward to the next chapter!
11/14/2006 c3 Bianca
Love it! for true! but yeah, its way good and all that, i liked the original version, but this is way better. Hope you get farther on this than you did before. update soon, don't leave us hanging!
Love it! for true! but yeah, its way good and all that, i liked the original version, but this is way better. Hope you get farther on this than you did before. update soon, don't leave us hanging!
11/6/2006 c3 anna
omg amazing. well i rele liked the old one but this ones good. wish the kissing came on for the old version :( but alas this versions cool 2 :D keep at it!
omg amazing. well i rele liked the old one but this ones good. wish the kissing came on for the old version :( but alas this versions cool 2 :D keep at it!
11/6/2006 c3 2ooies
Wow its been a while since I've been able to access the site, I finally got time to read your story, and although I still think you shoulda kept the old story... I really like this one ^^ its cute, I hope to see a new chapter soon! (i havent updated any of my stories since i moved... 2 years ago XD sad huh?)
2ooiesWow its been a while since I've been able to access the site, I finally got time to read your story, and although I still think you shoulda kept the old story... I really like this one ^^ its cute, I hope to see a new chapter soon! (i havent updated any of my stories since i moved... 2 years ago XD sad huh?)