for Forgive and Forget4/5/2005 c1 
15XantheXanthias
hey, i finally got around to reading this. sorry about the delay!i liked it. i don't usually read this kind of stuff, but it's growing on me. i think you did a really good job with this complex theme, the emotions are very well displayed. as for suggestions, i think if you beefed up the first paragraph a bit, making the sentences flow a little more and using a few different words, that would bring the readers in faster. most of it was very well written, and i like the way you use different words to manipulate our emotions. i guess that's what good writing does :) anyway, i don't have time tonight to read the next chapters (just noticed them!) but i'll surely check them out soon.good job!
~XantheXanthias~
15XantheXanthiashey, i finally got around to reading this. sorry about the delay!i liked it. i don't usually read this kind of stuff, but it's growing on me. i think you did a really good job with this complex theme, the emotions are very well displayed. as for suggestions, i think if you beefed up the first paragraph a bit, making the sentences flow a little more and using a few different words, that would bring the readers in faster. most of it was very well written, and i like the way you use different words to manipulate our emotions. i guess that's what good writing does :) anyway, i don't have time tonight to read the next chapters (just noticed them!) but i'll surely check them out soon.good job!
~XantheXanthias~
8/11/2004 c10 cindy
i'm so happi u fixed the story! great so far keep on updating! ;D
i'm so happi u fixed the story! great so far keep on updating! ;D
8/10/2004 c10 Carolina.Scribe
I have to say this is one of your best chapters thus far! I really like that you've revealed Jay's character a little and showed that he wasn't a complete jerk like I originally thought.
Great job! Can't wait for more!
I have to say this is one of your best chapters thus far! I really like that you've revealed Jay's character a little and showed that he wasn't a complete jerk like I originally thought.
Great job! Can't wait for more!
8/6/2004 c9 Carolina.Scribe
Nice chapter. I liked this on a lot. It seemed to have a broader scope than the other eight chapters have had...maybe its because they're traveling and not in one spot. The length was nice too.
I wonder what Kaitora will be doing? Will she help sell crack or something? Be a 'mule'. I wonder...
Nice chapter. I liked this on a lot. It seemed to have a broader scope than the other eight chapters have had...maybe its because they're traveling and not in one spot. The length was nice too.
I wonder what Kaitora will be doing? Will she help sell crack or something? Be a 'mule'. I wonder...
7/28/2004 c9 CurlieQ16
Hey there! Sorry, long-time-no-review on my part, I've been on vaca. Yay for updates! I love it! Keep going!
P.S. I love the name Kaitora, it's very pretty =)
Hey there! Sorry, long-time-no-review on my part, I've been on vaca. Yay for updates! I love it! Keep going!
P.S. I love the name Kaitora, it's very pretty =)
7/20/2004 c8 Carolina.Scribe
Interesting chapter. I like that Kaitora is finally paying attention to Zafel. I was worried about him too. ^_^ And some more excitement! YAY!
I liked this story and don't worry...this chapter did not suck. Give yourself a little more credit.
Interesting chapter. I like that Kaitora is finally paying attention to Zafel. I was worried about him too. ^_^ And some more excitement! YAY!
I liked this story and don't worry...this chapter did not suck. Give yourself a little more credit.
7/13/2004 c7 Carolina.Scribe
Aw. *eyes tearing* That is so sad! At first I was cheering for Aaron at the beginning of the story because he seemed misunderstood. But now that I see more of Zafel's inner self I feel more about him...the lonely, seemingly unwanted one.
*cries* I want to Zafel! I'll comfort you!
*glances around embaressed*...uh...did I say that out loud?...oops...
Anyway, great story. Can' wait for more!
Aw. *eyes tearing* That is so sad! At first I was cheering for Aaron at the beginning of the story because he seemed misunderstood. But now that I see more of Zafel's inner self I feel more about him...the lonely, seemingly unwanted one.
*cries* I want to Zafel! I'll comfort you!
*glances around embaressed*...uh...did I say that out loud?...oops...
Anyway, great story. Can' wait for more!
7/13/2004 c6 Carolina.Scribe
Wow! I really liked this chapter! We get to see a little more of Aaron's character, of his caring for Kaitora a little and we also get to have a more indepth lookk at Zefel too!
.
The characters are definitely more rounded now, and I liked the third P.O.V as well. It gave a little more objective view of them all. Great job! I can't wait to read Chapter 7.
.
P.S Happy Early Birthday!
Wow! I really liked this chapter! We get to see a little more of Aaron's character, of his caring for Kaitora a little and we also get to have a more indepth lookk at Zefel too!
.
The characters are definitely more rounded now, and I liked the third P.O.V as well. It gave a little more objective view of them all. Great job! I can't wait to read Chapter 7.
.
P.S Happy Early Birthday!
7/13/2004 c5 skyler
two pounds of weed? do you know how much money that's worth?
so... wow... yeah, the story's going good. I'm on the edge of my seat. Keep up the good work!
two pounds of weed? do you know how much money that's worth?
so... wow... yeah, the story's going good. I'm on the edge of my seat. Keep up the good work!
6/22/2004 c5 Carolina.Scribe
*^O^* WAH! Why, oh, why do you do this to us?
^^) This is a good story, please continue soon...but could you make the chapters longer? That would be really great!
*^O^* WAH! Why, oh, why do you do this to us?
^^) This is a good story, please continue soon...but could you make the chapters longer? That would be really great!
6/22/2004 c5 1XxDarkHeartxX
i'm a moron. i didn't know there was one more chapter. good story, i liked it.
1XxDarkHeartxXi'm a moron. i didn't know there was one more chapter. good story, i liked it.
6/22/2004 c5 luvablebubble
I really like this story. It's well written. I feel really bad for Kaitora, though, I mean, nobody should be put through that especially at a young age. At first I thought that Zafel was the good guy and Aaren was going to be the bad guy but I'm not quite sure now...hmm...I guess I'll make up my mind when you write more chapters. lol. Great job!
I really like this story. It's well written. I feel really bad for Kaitora, though, I mean, nobody should be put through that especially at a young age. At first I thought that Zafel was the good guy and Aaren was going to be the bad guy but I'm not quite sure now...hmm...I guess I'll make up my mind when you write more chapters. lol. Great job!