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for Chapel Window

5/11/2004 c1 Jared Brown
I really like this poem; it has a lot of colorful, innovative imagery. It also taps the deep need that many people have to make everything perfect, showing that this is an unattainable desire.
I also like the part about the moon broken upon the rolling water...I have a soft spot for reflections from water (and other things, too), and for the moon and moonlight.
5/8/2004 c1 1mbudd777
A very interesting premise, I enjoyed your imagery. You might want to think about adding some kind of punctuation in order to make your poem flow a little more smoothly. Just think about the natural pauses you use when you are speaking. Maybe watch your parallelism a bit. If you're speaking of "things" breaking, then "you can't ever fix `them'" instead of "it."
5/8/2004 c1 71Sang Yu Nung
This was a great poem, my favorite line was the last one "Never fix it, make it beautiful"- and the idea of the chapel window was great to get your point across! I enjoyed reading this- keep the good work coming! :-)

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