
6/1/2004 c1
174marshbar960
hm...once again, it seems that you and i have a lot in common...overprotective parents and naivete as the prime result!
i do, however, have a few comments: i liked how you portrayed your feelings within this but i think that it sounds more like a personal letter than that of a poem, unless you really meant for it to sound this way! or it could also be turned into a play, essay, or short story - with you and your parents being the main characters. just some suggestions but please don't let them rock your thunder. thanks for sharing and please keep writing!
p.s. thanks for all your reviews on my work, as well as the constructive criticisms!

hm...once again, it seems that you and i have a lot in common...overprotective parents and naivete as the prime result!
i do, however, have a few comments: i liked how you portrayed your feelings within this but i think that it sounds more like a personal letter than that of a poem, unless you really meant for it to sound this way! or it could also be turned into a play, essay, or short story - with you and your parents being the main characters. just some suggestions but please don't let them rock your thunder. thanks for sharing and please keep writing!
p.s. thanks for all your reviews on my work, as well as the constructive criticisms!