2/23/2007 c1 34Kendal
This was cute. :)
The second paragraph of the story has nice impact, and you capture Jo's mindset rather well. It might be interesting if there were some actual "scenes" from the events you mentioned - kind of like flashbacks, I guess?
Nice work. It expresses quite a lot in not so many words.
This was cute. :)
The second paragraph of the story has nice impact, and you capture Jo's mindset rather well. It might be interesting if there were some actual "scenes" from the events you mentioned - kind of like flashbacks, I guess?
Nice work. It expresses quite a lot in not so many words.
8/31/2005 c1 8alexialynne
hahahahaha. omg... i dont know if it was intentional (and im sorry if it wasnt) but u have a good sense of humour. this was another very fun read.
there were some grammatical errors though..but thats about all that wasnt right.
the rest was good. i appreciated the humour. nice work. all the best.
hahahahaha. omg... i dont know if it was intentional (and im sorry if it wasnt) but u have a good sense of humour. this was another very fun read.
there were some grammatical errors though..but thats about all that wasnt right.
the rest was good. i appreciated the humour. nice work. all the best.
5/29/2004 c1 22slave to the voices
This story reminds me of my sister until she was about 13. It was well written and touching. Great job, keep writing.
**Slave**
This story reminds me of my sister until she was about 13. It was well written and touching. Great job, keep writing.
**Slave**
5/29/2004 c1 6Waterfall
Aww... Have I told you how much I like your unexpected endings? Because I really do. Actually, I think 'girl things' and 'boy things' are unneccesary labels. I've always done a bit of both, and so - I think - have you. Doesn't everybody?
Anyway, this was a very good story. Maybe a little clishé, but when you're making a point like thise I think it's unavoidable. People are supposed to recognise themselves (or someone else) in this, after all.
But next time you're writing a story... please tell me? I really like betaing your stuff - even though I'm always late.
Shade and sweet inspiration,
Waterfall
Aww... Have I told you how much I like your unexpected endings? Because I really do. Actually, I think 'girl things' and 'boy things' are unneccesary labels. I've always done a bit of both, and so - I think - have you. Doesn't everybody?
Anyway, this was a very good story. Maybe a little clishé, but when you're making a point like thise I think it's unavoidable. People are supposed to recognise themselves (or someone else) in this, after all.
But next time you're writing a story... please tell me? I really like betaing your stuff - even though I'm always late.
Shade and sweet inspiration,
Waterfall