for Nightmare12/3/2004 c1 
3Rothwyn Escarlata
Ah! I love your poems! If you haven't noticed yet, hehe. This one is beautiful...the rhyming is subtle and the regrets and bitterness come across so well. I might almost suggest that it should be made longer to elaborate on the middle part (again, no poetic terminology here, rawr). Also, I think that the rhythm is broken just a little in the last line of the first section (stanza? I'm so poetry-ignorant...I'll go study up on this...hehe). Maybe you could delete "is" and leave it: My conscious eternally maimed. Or something to make it one syllable shorter. Good job!
3Rothwyn EscarlataAh! I love your poems! If you haven't noticed yet, hehe. This one is beautiful...the rhyming is subtle and the regrets and bitterness come across so well. I might almost suggest that it should be made longer to elaborate on the middle part (again, no poetic terminology here, rawr). Also, I think that the rhythm is broken just a little in the last line of the first section (stanza? I'm so poetry-ignorant...I'll go study up on this...hehe). Maybe you could delete "is" and leave it: My conscious eternally maimed. Or something to make it one syllable shorter. Good job!
6/25/2004 c1 5aiur
hey that's really good! rhyming poems are hard to write, hehe. all of mine always end up as songs. meh. really nice idea to write about. it's original. i like lots! and btw ... you told me if i ever posted my poetry, you'd read it. and a lot of people made similar comments, so the link's in my bio, if you'd care to look =)
~k8
5aiurhey that's really good! rhyming poems are hard to write, hehe. all of mine always end up as songs. meh. really nice idea to write about. it's original. i like lots! and btw ... you told me if i ever posted my poetry, you'd read it. and a lot of people made similar comments, so the link's in my bio, if you'd care to look =)
~k8
6/19/2004 c1 33Princess of Darkness 72
I like this poem a LOT..it really speaks to me because I can relate
33Princess of Darkness 72I like this poem a LOT..it really speaks to me because I can relate
6/10/2004 c1 70elvenstorm
Very good for only your second rhyming poem! Interesting subject and you offer a nice angle on it. Good job well done!
70elvenstormVery good for only your second rhyming poem! Interesting subject and you offer a nice angle on it. Good job well done!
6/1/2004 c1 14Getuie
For your second poem. Well done. There's a strong warning in this... and it's beautifully expressed. Keep trying to write outside of you 'comfort zone'... it's interesting what you bring out.
14GetuieFor your second poem. Well done. There's a strong warning in this... and it's beautifully expressed. Keep trying to write outside of you 'comfort zone'... it's interesting what you bring out.
6/1/2004 c1 4Niph speaks
Ah... very beautiful. Well written.
Your soul seems to speak in this piece. Moving, to say the least.
4Niph speaksAh... very beautiful. Well written.
Your soul seems to speak in this piece. Moving, to say the least.
5/31/2004 c1 148JJR Meerraf
Absolutely brilliant! I'm used to your wonderful Haiku work, but to read this now is... leaving me in awe! Every stanza left my jaw on the floor. I love the sense of this as well, because I feel it relates to me a lot and to a lot of my stuff (I havven't posted yet). The poem was marvelous, but by far the last stanza was a work of art! This is beautiful my friend, excellent work!
148JJR MeerrafAbsolutely brilliant! I'm used to your wonderful Haiku work, but to read this now is... leaving me in awe! Every stanza left my jaw on the floor. I love the sense of this as well, because I feel it relates to me a lot and to a lot of my stuff (I havven't posted yet). The poem was marvelous, but by far the last stanza was a work of art! This is beautiful my friend, excellent work!
5/31/2004 c1 76CoolBeans18s
IT RHYMES! Its BEAUTIFUL! Very, very, very well done! I love the wisdom of this piece. Its marvelous!
~ CoolBeans18s
76CoolBeans18sIT RHYMES! Its BEAUTIFUL! Very, very, very well done! I love the wisdom of this piece. Its marvelous!
~ CoolBeans18s