for A Person Called Wind10/10/2005 c1 
22Loup17
hey, that was a really good poem, i really liked it, i love nature, and the wind is incredible in many aspects. however you did ask for constructive critiscism in your bio, so here goes. you were half right about the last chapter. personally, i think the first too lines in the last para were a bit out of place, like maybe "little is known" "despite what has been shown"for example might flow a little better, and abstuse is a word very few people know, it works quite well in truth, but i would use maybe...undefineable...oh well, overall the poem itself was great, and like i said, you were only half wrong about the last paragraph, my favorite lines in the whole poem were in there..."Who truly does know,This person called wind…"ahh...brilliant...you have quite a talent for writing, keep it up.
JA~
P.s. . the moose are coming!
22Loup17hey, that was a really good poem, i really liked it, i love nature, and the wind is incredible in many aspects. however you did ask for constructive critiscism in your bio, so here goes. you were half right about the last chapter. personally, i think the first too lines in the last para were a bit out of place, like maybe "little is known" "despite what has been shown"for example might flow a little better, and abstuse is a word very few people know, it works quite well in truth, but i would use maybe...undefineable...oh well, overall the poem itself was great, and like i said, you were only half wrong about the last paragraph, my favorite lines in the whole poem were in there..."Who truly does know,This person called wind…"ahh...brilliant...you have quite a talent for writing, keep it up.
JA~
P.s. . the moose are coming!
1/29/2005 c1 17incandescent.smiles
wow, this is great! I love how you describe the different qualities of it, I've always loved the wind, and it makes me actually think about it. great job.
~leila*
17incandescent.smileswow, this is great! I love how you describe the different qualities of it, I've always loved the wind, and it makes me actually think about it. great job.
~leila*
11/22/2004 c1 9Happy-Platipus
Wow! I really like this poem. It has a good sound to it, and I think you showed the different aspects of the wind very well. Its a really great idea, I had never reslly thought about the wind like that before.Good job!
9Happy-PlatipusWow! I really like this poem. It has a good sound to it, and I think you showed the different aspects of the wind very well. Its a really great idea, I had never reslly thought about the wind like that before.Good job!
11/18/2004 c1 13Black-Passion
oh jeeze its so long not that long poems are bad, i generally quite like long poems, but this one, i htink, is to repetative to work, with the rhyme and the repeated lines. i htink slight variation at the beginning of each stanza would help this a lot.
this reminds be a whole bunch of a poem that i wrote (go check it out!) called the world as i see it (... i htink)
13Black-Passionoh jeeze its so long not that long poems are bad, i generally quite like long poems, but this one, i htink, is to repetative to work, with the rhyme and the repeated lines. i htink slight variation at the beginning of each stanza would help this a lot.
this reminds be a whole bunch of a poem that i wrote (go check it out!) called the world as i see it (... i htink)
7/17/2004 c1 40singingspeechless
i thought this was really awesome! you used a lot of imagery and description in this and it really brought out the character of the poem. i think you were trying to convey the message that there are many varied qualities in ppl that make them who they are, and that even though most of those qualities physically clash with another in the real world, in the body they can co-exist harmoniously. good job.
40singingspeechlessi thought this was really awesome! you used a lot of imagery and description in this and it really brought out the character of the poem. i think you were trying to convey the message that there are many varied qualities in ppl that make them who they are, and that even though most of those qualities physically clash with another in the real world, in the body they can co-exist harmoniously. good job.
7/11/2004 c1 catseyeview
Had you made the wind god-like? Very pretty, I like your rhyming also and I think I like the last stanza, esp. the 4th and 5th lines.
Had you made the wind god-like? Very pretty, I like your rhyming also and I think I like the last stanza, esp. the 4th and 5th lines.
7/2/2004 c1 368EWindheim
oh. I like! So poetic and true. I did something on wind awhile back, a little differnt than this. Back to the poem: BRILLIANT! Thanks for the reviews BTW, I really really appriciate it!
~Hawke
368EWindheimoh. I like! So poetic and true. I did something on wind awhile back, a little differnt than this. Back to the poem: BRILLIANT! Thanks for the reviews BTW, I really really appriciate it!
~Hawke
6/14/2004 c1 3Pont
Wow great job! I likes a lot! ^_^
Wonderful floaty windy feeling. Well done. *applause*
~ponteh
3PontWow great job! I likes a lot! ^_^
Wonderful floaty windy feeling. Well done. *applause*
~ponteh
6/13/2004 c1 laerai
I like this. The fact that you were able to personify and write such a lengthy piece is remarkable. I like the different facets of the wind... maybe sometimes representing life, or an Earthly quality? Being ruled by nature? I didn't think the end was bad. It gives it a little twist... the 'person' part...
I like this. The fact that you were able to personify and write such a lengthy piece is remarkable. I like the different facets of the wind... maybe sometimes representing life, or an Earthly quality? Being ruled by nature? I didn't think the end was bad. It gives it a little twist... the 'person' part...
6/8/2004 c1 20Elbereth141
Hi! thank you soo much for reviewing my stuff! Im on your fave authors list? (eyes fill with tears) Thanks! (sniffs)
Your poems are great. im surprised that this one doesnt have any reviews. My fave bit is the middle, with the bit about uprooting trees. That is really touching. It does fit into the mystery section great. Write some more!
20Elbereth141Hi! thank you soo much for reviewing my stuff! Im on your fave authors list? (eyes fill with tears) Thanks! (sniffs)
Your poems are great. im surprised that this one doesnt have any reviews. My fave bit is the middle, with the bit about uprooting trees. That is really touching. It does fit into the mystery section great. Write some more!