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for the unwordy emotional trap

2/11/2011 c1 9Air Rey
Technically, if I would review this using the norm of a haiku, it would pretty much miss a lot of key details. Thinking about it, I guess modern haiku writers like you have truly bent the norms and extended what a haiku should be.

Very nice use of figurative language! "safe sex with a beau cliche" amazing! The ambiguity of a haiku is heightened here when you used language like that.

Although the abstraction is pretty prevalent, you painted a good picture of what your theme is. That I think made your haiku phenomenal.

Overall, the piece works and I love every second of reading it. I'm now a fan. Good job! :)
2/20/2010 c1 Imperia
lol this is very true and very well written.
7/6/2004 c1 Made in U.S.A
I love all of your work on fictionpress and I've been reading through and I think that you are one of the most original writers on fictionpress and definatly in the top ten best. You really remind me of Sylvia Plath at times and I think that great cuz shes one of my favorites poets. This piece is another great one. Very dark and thought provoking. Beautifully written but a bit unsettling but perfect anyways. You are going on my favorites list. :D keep writing.
6/16/2004 c1 9Kalopsia
written perfectly.
6/15/2004 c1 96Mitsunaga
very unique. Different but hey variety is the spice of life.
6/5/2004 c1 127godawful teen-angst poetry
Wow. Ha. You're amazing. "safe sex with a beau cliche"...could there be a better metaphor? Er...no.
~lyv
6/3/2004 c1 119AntiPleasure
Most people cringe at the thought of incest, and I'm not sure what your take on it is because so little words are expressed. But, the last 2 words show that it is impossible to have children *shrugs* but I do support incest, no matter how vile some people think it is. Anyhoo, interesting haiku, I take it you like to write them. =)
Jenna xx
6/3/2004 c1 123breakdown in the waiting room
This is one of those pieces where words that fit together do so in a way you didn't think of. You know what I mean? It's like. . .it all makes sense, but it's jumbled, and makes even more sense that way. And using the words you did to describe creating is so perfect- creation can seem like an invasion, but you miss it when it's gone. . .then it returns bearing gifts and you aren't exactly sure what to do with it.
-Jess
6/2/2004 c1 80Plato's Optic Runaway
How am I to describe you? I have come to the conclusion that the only one worthy of doing so could perhaps be yourself; anything else I would almost view as rape, a vulgar interpretation of something that cannot be described in all its glory on this earth or by the words of a man. But the metaphor, the words, everything about this is gorgeous, unsettling, yes, but that's part of what I love about you. Anyway, I thank you for your help concerning html; I'm a bit of a dumbass there. Well, everywhere, really, but I won't delve into that. Yes, I know, my thanks were belated, but that is how I tend to do things.

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