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1/29/2006 c1 9ice flyer
I like your plot idea a LOT - historical, romance, time travel - awesome. I kind of noticed there's not much description. All the dialogue would probably be better if it were punctuated with some physical or setting descriptions. And, one more thing - the dialogue sounds a little unnatural. Cute on paper, but do people really speak like that? Maybe, read it aloud, see if it sounds like a real seventeen-year-old girl. If you know people who do speak like that, whoops, forgive me.

I noticed one technical error. "Mummy don't worry, all will be fine." Replied Ciara. It should be "Mummy, don't worry, all will be fine, COMMA," (lower case) replied Ciara.

Anyways, interesting setting, and I liked your little bit of humor - the scalped bottom the only result of begging her father to let her read romance novels. Cute!(Oh yes, and I am really 15. :)
8/27/2005 c1 8bronte-girl92
really sweet,love the time period...keep it up
4/22/2005 c7 nedi
lol... ciarra fits into the crowd so well! i really like your use of accents in this story... the dialect is cool. =)

10/31/2004 c3 3Rose Richonne
Thanks for the review :) I had read all three chapters, so you know, I just went back to the first one to put up my review. The 'learnt' thing is very strange to me as I'm an all American gal and we never use that :) It's cool in the story, I like it. I like how it could be Neil's brother but that makes it very predictable, why don't you have some surprise twist kind of thing where it's not his brother but his cousin or something. Then while Neil is off meeting his brother, the cousin will drop in unexpectedly to say to Neil and only find the girls back from Edinburgh. Then I'm sure there will be lots of screaming girls and explinations to be had. Wow, I went on a tangent there, I'm sorry, didn't meant to, hope the ideas might be useful somewhere. Maybe not, oh well, lol.
10/30/2004 c1 Rose Richonne
It's a cute story. I like how you slipped in a few english words (learnt) it really adds to the style :) Good job writing, im'm eager to see what happens next.
10/22/2004 c3 queenofthebuns7
I like the storyline. Keep writing cause I wanna know more.
10/21/2004 c3 32caks
i love this story keeo it going!
6/9/2004 c2 anne
great story! i'm excited to read more!
6/3/2004 c1 8red-flower
Hello! I know how much I like getting reviews, so I'm gonna write one for someone... and that someone is you! You have a good, solid start here. Lots of details and you give a very good idea of the characters' personalities. You seem to stay faithful to the time period that you are writing about too. I really like your style of writing. Mhmm, what else? Maybe I'll write some more when you have a new chapter. (Hint hint!) Okay, enough of my ramblings!

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