for The Perfect Life7/11/2004 c6 
21Something Is Missing
Hmm a party huh? A bit familiar to your other fic, hoping the story's not going to end up cliched. Anyway, carrying on.. I don't think it would be believable to out right tell about Fox's reason for the diner job, while working, when many people could overhear.. I mean, diner's most often have someone in them, so it's possible for that. I like the idea of everyone thinking the other has such a perfect life, because everyone thinks someone does, and wishes they were them.. I don't know what else to say right now. Waiting for more :D
21Something Is MissingHmm a party huh? A bit familiar to your other fic, hoping the story's not going to end up cliched. Anyway, carrying on.. I don't think it would be believable to out right tell about Fox's reason for the diner job, while working, when many people could overhear.. I mean, diner's most often have someone in them, so it's possible for that. I like the idea of everyone thinking the other has such a perfect life, because everyone thinks someone does, and wishes they were them.. I don't know what else to say right now. Waiting for more :D
7/11/2004 c5 Something Is Missing
*grumbles* Stupid computer. I had wrote a nice long detailed review, but noo the stupid computer had to freeze, and leave me glaring at the screen for 5 minutes longer than it should take to write one of these.. It's good to know there will be no romance between Fox and Marian, however, it might be an interesting idea. I loved the sister "conflict" of the LOTR, although I couldn't really grasp this part, since I am probably the only one on the planet who hasn't seen the movies. (I was planning on reading the book first.. half way thru! lol) I love how the interaction between the characters with different backgrounds, because this story seems more life-like. Excellent.
*grumbles* Stupid computer. I had wrote a nice long detailed review, but noo the stupid computer had to freeze, and leave me glaring at the screen for 5 minutes longer than it should take to write one of these.. It's good to know there will be no romance between Fox and Marian, however, it might be an interesting idea. I loved the sister "conflict" of the LOTR, although I couldn't really grasp this part, since I am probably the only one on the planet who hasn't seen the movies. (I was planning on reading the book first.. half way thru! lol) I love how the interaction between the characters with different backgrounds, because this story seems more life-like. Excellent.
7/5/2004 c6 1LuckyDucky1390
I like it, but a little hard to follow with all the people talking and the time changes and stuff, but still good! *they're going 2 a par-tay! they're goin' 2 a par-tay!* woo!
1LuckyDucky1390I like it, but a little hard to follow with all the people talking and the time changes and stuff, but still good! *they're going 2 a par-tay! they're goin' 2 a par-tay!* woo!
6/30/2004 c4 21Something Is Missing
My sister and I joke about how everybody always uses "like" if its a preppy girl. You know what I'm saying. It really does the trick to get the point that they aren't too bright, considering they only have a few short words in their vocabulary. I was wondering if you could.. spice it up a bit? Because in every teen story, there's a "bitchy cheerleader", and it just seems very.. almost lazy.. to not expand that "evil" sort of role.
21Something Is MissingMy sister and I joke about how everybody always uses "like" if its a preppy girl. You know what I'm saying. It really does the trick to get the point that they aren't too bright, considering they only have a few short words in their vocabulary. I was wondering if you could.. spice it up a bit? Because in every teen story, there's a "bitchy cheerleader", and it just seems very.. almost lazy.. to not expand that "evil" sort of role.
6/30/2004 c3 Something Is Missing
Two complaints.. Wanting more, but having to stop to review.. and the whole changing point of views. It's not made obvious on who's really talking. I found it difficult to read because of that, but did get it on the second read.
Two complaints.. Wanting more, but having to stop to review.. and the whole changing point of views. It's not made obvious on who's really talking. I found it difficult to read because of that, but did get it on the second read.
6/30/2004 c2 Something Is Missing
Hmm.. are you familiar with the term "Mary Sue"? Its used mostly in fan fictions, but I find this coming to mind after reading Line Crossing, and these first two chapters. Usually, authors write a charactor which resembles them, but acts in a way they don't. In fan fictions, Mary Sues are "prefect" and seem to be the main charactor and hero. Just something that came to mind. Hope this doesn't end up cliched like Mary Sue fics do.
Enjoying it so far.. I think of the four, I like Fox. I don't know why.. just do.
Hmm.. are you familiar with the term "Mary Sue"? Its used mostly in fan fictions, but I find this coming to mind after reading Line Crossing, and these first two chapters. Usually, authors write a charactor which resembles them, but acts in a way they don't. In fan fictions, Mary Sues are "prefect" and seem to be the main charactor and hero. Just something that came to mind. Hope this doesn't end up cliched like Mary Sue fics do.
Enjoying it so far.. I think of the four, I like Fox. I don't know why.. just do.
6/30/2004 c1 Something Is Missing
So far so good.. no comments really at this time.. waiting for more charactors and the ones present to get deeper. :)
So far so good.. no comments really at this time.. waiting for more charactors and the ones present to get deeper. :)
6/29/2004 c6 CurlieQ16
Hi again! Omg, I love how your characters interact with each other! I really like how you brought them all together in this scene...that's awesome. =) Update!
Hi again! Omg, I love how your characters interact with each other! I really like how you brought them all together in this scene...that's awesome. =) Update!
6/22/2004 c5 5quiksilva brumby
This is getting cool, i think the chappies just keep gettin better n better. =) But omg, Orlando is so hot! HE is so not gay *sigh* hes hot. Did i already say that? But he is...ahahah neway. U know, i realised u tend to see the same ppl reading the same sorta stories. Its like u move in similar cirlces...*ponders* Nehoo, back 2 reviewing, i think this is getting good now - keep writing! (but u MUST update Line Crosing b4 i die of suspense =P)
luv ~brumby~ xx
5quiksilva brumbyThis is getting cool, i think the chappies just keep gettin better n better. =) But omg, Orlando is so hot! HE is so not gay *sigh* hes hot. Did i already say that? But he is...ahahah neway. U know, i realised u tend to see the same ppl reading the same sorta stories. Its like u move in similar cirlces...*ponders* Nehoo, back 2 reviewing, i think this is getting good now - keep writing! (but u MUST update Line Crosing b4 i die of suspense =P)
luv ~brumby~ xx
6/22/2004 c5 pc0
gah- it stopped jus as its getting reali interesting! hhm v. goot the characters are really interesting. hehe.
btw i think jack is gay! is he? tell me if im completely out
UPDATE SOON!
pico
ps i liked the way u started the first two chapters- that was funny!
gah- it stopped jus as its getting reali interesting! hhm v. goot the characters are really interesting. hehe.
btw i think jack is gay! is he? tell me if im completely out
UPDATE SOON!
pico
ps i liked the way u started the first two chapters- that was funny!
6/21/2004 c5 CurlieQ16
Yay! Updates! Yay! LOTR references (I agree with Marian, Aragorn is the best)! This chapter was SO CUTE, I love the interaction between sisters. Can't wait to read more!
Yay! Updates! Yay! LOTR references (I agree with Marian, Aragorn is the best)! This chapter was SO CUTE, I love the interaction between sisters. Can't wait to read more!
6/20/2004 c5 lilleo
Hey i like the idea of this story - good chapters tho i want them longer lol! i like the way you have characters from different backgorunds too. update soon!
Hey i like the idea of this story - good chapters tho i want them longer lol! i like the way you have characters from different backgorunds too. update soon!
6/20/2004 c5 1LuckyDucky1390
What is up, my buddy? O getting kinda intrestin', though I'm not as attached to it as I am to Line Crossing...yet. But, I'm sure u will pull through and make me become a compulsive addict yet again to checking my inbox for the saying that you have UPDATED! Ok, I just completely rambled there, but o well. I'm excited about the PAR-TAY tomorrow. :D ;D And just a quick question, isn't the Varsity Diner the name of the restaurant in "Seventh Heaven" that the kids steal glasses and stuff from in one episode to be "cool"? I dunno. Not postive. HAven't watched it in a while...it's been going downhill recently. Becoming more and more attached to "Summerland"(I luv J.M.!) and "One Tree Hill" though, lol. Okay, I must depart and wave farewell, but I shall see you in about 26 hours!
*waves hand "princess style" as she clicks the shiny grey button*
1LuckyDucky1390What is up, my buddy? O getting kinda intrestin', though I'm not as attached to it as I am to Line Crossing...yet. But, I'm sure u will pull through and make me become a compulsive addict yet again to checking my inbox for the saying that you have UPDATED! Ok, I just completely rambled there, but o well. I'm excited about the PAR-TAY tomorrow. :D ;D And just a quick question, isn't the Varsity Diner the name of the restaurant in "Seventh Heaven" that the kids steal glasses and stuff from in one episode to be "cool"? I dunno. Not postive. HAven't watched it in a while...it's been going downhill recently. Becoming more and more attached to "Summerland"(I luv J.M.!) and "One Tree Hill" though, lol. Okay, I must depart and wave farewell, but I shall see you in about 26 hours!
*waves hand "princess style" as she clicks the shiny grey button*
6/20/2004 c4 LuckyDucky1390
You've adressed this before, but I'll say it again. Short. But at least we've got the drama rollin' now! 'm out, gtg get chips for the PAR-TAY tomorrow. Can u believe it's all over tomorrow? wow. *has left the building in order to ponder why life passes quickly*
You've adressed this before, but I'll say it again. Short. But at least we've got the drama rollin' now! 'm out, gtg get chips for the PAR-TAY tomorrow. Can u believe it's all over tomorrow? wow. *has left the building in order to ponder why life passes quickly*
6/19/2004 c4 CurlieQ16
Hey! This is a GREAT idea for a story! I can really relate to it. I love the changes in POVs, and the way the characters interact. PLEASE continue! I will continue to R&R.
Hey! This is a GREAT idea for a story! I can really relate to it. I love the changes in POVs, and the way the characters interact. PLEASE continue! I will continue to R&R.