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8/5/2005 c3 75Amora Elvenstar
I have got to be the worst friend in the world. I swore I would read it like 5 weeks ago and I broke it, im so sry. But anyway, I'm trying to make up for it now. This is totally awesome. I like how he already has the staff in his hands, because when ur angry, that really happens. Or when he was working with the bag, you could actually say what he did. It sounded really good and like you knew what you were talking about. I loved it. I noticed one spelling mistake in paragraph 5. I'll let you find it and if you can't then come to me. Um. It was kind of confusing how you keep reverting back and forth between Tor and Tory, I understand it's a nickname, but pick one. You've set the character and we know her name is Tory, but use only one and you can use Tor know, because we know who she is. But to me it seems like there's a 4th person. Anyway. I love it. It's great and I anticipate the next chapter.
7/2/2004 c1 31Surferchk07
nifty mate
6/25/2004 c2 Amora
Ok, great chapter. I did get a little confused on some parts though. What's a quad? I take it, its some sort of vehicle but other than that I'm clueless. Ok, who was this sergeant williams? Was he the dude jed's dad was trying to protect? was he who killed him? or was he some innocent bystander? Just a few questions, sry. Otherwise, great job and keep writing.
6/23/2004 c1 75Amora Elvenstar
AWESOME! This is so cool. You can always add a little more detail in some places but otherwise the story is good so far. Where did Tory get the money in her wallet though? Just curious.Keep writing.
6/21/2004 c1 5M.P. Solo
It's a nice start. Well-paced, and we've got a decent look into the lives of the main characters. It'll be interesting to see where this goes from here. Keep it up!
6/21/2004 c1 32sleepy-sentry
Nice story. I like it and hope to see more.

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