for Seven Wonders8/2/2004 c2 
6The simplest sign of life
Review no 2! :P
I liked it... not much to add. Does Fay ever stop blushing?
Keep writing! I'm going on to the next chapter :)
6The simplest sign of lifeReview no 2! :P
I liked it... not much to add. Does Fay ever stop blushing?
Keep writing! I'm going on to the next chapter :)
8/1/2004 c3 Candice Chin
Um... I was wondering when u said: Chris’ physical abuse, I was able to tera my hand away Did u mean tera or tear? Anyway good story sofar!
~*~Your Loving Sister: ME!~*~
Um... I was wondering when u said: Chris’ physical abuse, I was able to tera my hand away Did u mean tera or tear? Anyway good story sofar!
~*~Your Loving Sister: ME!~*~
8/1/2004 c3 jiaMei
ah another well-written chappy. i simply adore your story so keep writing! ^^
[p.s. hope you dont mind my short reviews _
ah another well-written chappy. i simply adore your story so keep writing! ^^
[p.s. hope you dont mind my short reviews _
7/29/2004 c2 13XxDragon Princess NikkixX
Gah! You updated and I didn't know! Oh. . .and this was a very good update too. You're a very talented writer. A few mistakes here and there but I'm far too tired and lazy at the moment to point them out. I love this story though! I think you are doing a truely fantastic job. Please keep up the good work!
Nikki
13XxDragon Princess NikkixXGah! You updated and I didn't know! Oh. . .and this was a very good update too. You're a very talented writer. A few mistakes here and there but I'm far too tired and lazy at the moment to point them out. I love this story though! I think you are doing a truely fantastic job. Please keep up the good work!
Nikki
7/22/2004 c1 1Anubis-XI
...wow...wow...wow...wow...wow. i love it! THERE IS GOOD HUMOR! I LOVE GOOD HUMOR! not like the cheep stuff i use... lol. god, i like where this story is going, good cliffi too, probably a really hot guy, or somoene she recognises in a dream lol.
my favorite line is "I love my school as much as I would a moth in my closet. No offence meant to the moth." GOD! ah, made me smile and i had to wipe a tear from my eye... Anywhom, god your an amazing writer! This is an AMAZING STORY you better update alot *shakes his fist* becasue... i like it.
lol its 12:19 pm and i have to take a friend to the airport. oh and im 16 going on 17 too! COO!
Excellent, ill review next tommorow
1Anubis-XI...wow...wow...wow...wow...wow. i love it! THERE IS GOOD HUMOR! I LOVE GOOD HUMOR! not like the cheep stuff i use... lol. god, i like where this story is going, good cliffi too, probably a really hot guy, or somoene she recognises in a dream lol.
my favorite line is "I love my school as much as I would a moth in my closet. No offence meant to the moth." GOD! ah, made me smile and i had to wipe a tear from my eye... Anywhom, god your an amazing writer! This is an AMAZING STORY you better update alot *shakes his fist* becasue... i like it.
lol its 12:19 pm and i have to take a friend to the airport. oh and im 16 going on 17 too! COO!
Excellent, ill review next tommorow
7/22/2004 c2 Candice Chin
I would haf told u tat da second half of ur fist cap was better then da first haf but fic press wouldn't let me:(! IM MAD NOW!:@
anyway 2nd chappy is really good but y r da 2 fighting? WHY?
~*~ME~*~
I would haf told u tat da second half of ur fist cap was better then da first haf but fic press wouldn't let me:(! IM MAD NOW!:@
anyway 2nd chappy is really good but y r da 2 fighting? WHY?
~*~ME~*~
7/22/2004 c2 J.T. Baever
this is good! it's interesting. i can kind of see a new approach to things in your story. it'd be great if you could post longer chapters. =D i spotted a few things that you might want to go back and fix, but alas! i'm lazy and don't feel like nitpicking. it's a good story; i'll keep an eye on this to see how your writing and plot develop. ^_^ on another note, thanks for reading my poor, piteous little poem. heh. i posted it just for the hell of it; i didn't expect anyone to R&R. so i appreciate it much. =]
~Baever
this is good! it's interesting. i can kind of see a new approach to things in your story. it'd be great if you could post longer chapters. =D i spotted a few things that you might want to go back and fix, but alas! i'm lazy and don't feel like nitpicking. it's a good story; i'll keep an eye on this to see how your writing and plot develop. ^_^ on another note, thanks for reading my poor, piteous little poem. heh. i posted it just for the hell of it; i didn't expect anyone to R&R. so i appreciate it much. =]
~Baever
7/19/2004 c1 XxDragon Princess NikkixX
oh. I like this a lot. It's a very interesting and unique start. Please update soon!
Nikki
P.s. Thanks for reviewing Castle Cintyras! *hugz*
oh. I like this a lot. It's a very interesting and unique start. Please update soon!
Nikki
P.s. Thanks for reviewing Castle Cintyras! *hugz*
7/14/2004 c2 jiaMei
cant wait to see what happens in the next chapter so you betta update quick or i wont be happy! *pouts*
cant wait to see what happens in the next chapter so you betta update quick or i wont be happy! *pouts*
6/24/2004 c1 Kendra
Well done! A good story expect it isn't very clear how the beginning ties in with the school story (prephaps explain it a bit more) but apart from that I thought it was really well written and a good story. The actual characters remind of certain school teachers (think history - was that the inspiration?) One last point is that I enjoyed the A/N, I found it rather enjoyable! Overall, a good story and very readble. Well done again!
Well done! A good story expect it isn't very clear how the beginning ties in with the school story (prephaps explain it a bit more) but apart from that I thought it was really well written and a good story. The actual characters remind of certain school teachers (think history - was that the inspiration?) One last point is that I enjoyed the A/N, I found it rather enjoyable! Overall, a good story and very readble. Well done again!
6/24/2004 c1 I am too cool to email my favourite classmate tutor
:3
Eh, I liked reading it. Don't you dare complain to me that you suck at writing. Anyway, random stuff...
- 2nd sentence. I'd put the comma after 'wreaked' instead of 'and'.
- 3rd paragraph - It's not very clear (to me anyway) exactly HOW they're trapping themselves in stasis.
- 4th - I like this one. :D Especially the last sentence.
- Ms. Fay Cheng sounds familiar. 16 when in university. For the first few months anyway. 0_o Scary.
- 'and B) I’d just heard that boring looking woman call my name.' - seems a bit off to me... I'd have put 'I'd just heard my name being called by that boring-looking woman'. But I dunno.
- 'boringness'...?
- Mr Dennis also sounds familiar... and "I'm miss McPherson, and will relief Mr. Dennis..." is just a bit awkward. And you can't really say 'relieving him of his job' because that sounds like he's being fired... so... hmm... maybe something more like just 'taking over from Mr Dennis...' And the section about preps and emotions is funny.
- What does Chris have to do with Ken dolls? eh? eh?
Anyway, it was nice. You've written better stuff than this, though. Some of those things I've mentioned up there are just me being silly. :) And I don't want you to change your style, so just ignore the crits if you wish. :P
- so. Good enough? I came! I read! I reviewed! w00t. Not quite in the same league as Caesar, but oh well. _
:3
Eh, I liked reading it. Don't you dare complain to me that you suck at writing. Anyway, random stuff...
- 2nd sentence. I'd put the comma after 'wreaked' instead of 'and'.
- 3rd paragraph - It's not very clear (to me anyway) exactly HOW they're trapping themselves in stasis.
- 4th - I like this one. :D Especially the last sentence.
- Ms. Fay Cheng sounds familiar. 16 when in university. For the first few months anyway. 0_o Scary.
- 'and B) I’d just heard that boring looking woman call my name.' - seems a bit off to me... I'd have put 'I'd just heard my name being called by that boring-looking woman'. But I dunno.
- 'boringness'...?
- Mr Dennis also sounds familiar... and "I'm miss McPherson, and will relief Mr. Dennis..." is just a bit awkward. And you can't really say 'relieving him of his job' because that sounds like he's being fired... so... hmm... maybe something more like just 'taking over from Mr Dennis...' And the section about preps and emotions is funny.
- What does Chris have to do with Ken dolls? eh? eh?
Anyway, it was nice. You've written better stuff than this, though. Some of those things I've mentioned up there are just me being silly. :) And I don't want you to change your style, so just ignore the crits if you wish. :P
- so. Good enough? I came! I read! I reviewed! w00t. Not quite in the same league as Caesar, but oh well. _
6/24/2004 c1 jiaMei
lols, i agree tt this is a much betta story than the previous one =P and sorry for the late review cuz i keep forgetting! _
lols, i agree tt this is a much betta story than the previous one =P and sorry for the late review cuz i keep forgetting! _
6/24/2004 c1 6The simplest sign of life
SO MUCH BETTER than your original story. Miss McPherson sounds disturbingly familiar... *shudder*.
The bit at the start could be put better, maybe. "Its age surpassing the deepest recesses of human thought and dreams, a struggle for domination erupted long ago between celestial entities known as Zodiacs." It sounds a bit uncomfortable. Try starting the sentence with something other than "its". Like "In an age" (and then cut out the "long ago" that comes later) or something, if you're going for the spooky "age of legends" sound. Or even if you keep the "its" I still think the long ago is unnecessary. :P
Same thing with "A pact of necessity". More like "a necessary pact", or even "a necessary truce" or "a permenant cease-fire"... LOL
That's enough of my hopefully constructive criticism anyway, 'cos I thought the rest was fine :)
Keep writing so I can read the next chapter. I'm liking it so far...
Damn, I have to say it again.
THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE OTHER ONE YOU WROTE!
~Wingwind
6The simplest sign of lifeSO MUCH BETTER than your original story. Miss McPherson sounds disturbingly familiar... *shudder*.
The bit at the start could be put better, maybe. "Its age surpassing the deepest recesses of human thought and dreams, a struggle for domination erupted long ago between celestial entities known as Zodiacs." It sounds a bit uncomfortable. Try starting the sentence with something other than "its". Like "In an age" (and then cut out the "long ago" that comes later) or something, if you're going for the spooky "age of legends" sound. Or even if you keep the "its" I still think the long ago is unnecessary. :P
Same thing with "A pact of necessity". More like "a necessary pact", or even "a necessary truce" or "a permenant cease-fire"... LOL
That's enough of my hopefully constructive criticism anyway, 'cos I thought the rest was fine :)
Keep writing so I can read the next chapter. I'm liking it so far...
Damn, I have to say it again.
THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE OTHER ONE YOU WROTE!
~Wingwind
6/23/2004 c1 5aiur
nice, lol. actually i liked it. as a first chapter it had enough substance and information, but not too much. nice job! and thank you for reading my fic, hehe. just to tell you, though ... did you know that wasn't the end? there's a sequel up =P
~k8
5aiurnice, lol. actually i liked it. as a first chapter it had enough substance and information, but not too much. nice job! and thank you for reading my fic, hehe. just to tell you, though ... did you know that wasn't the end? there's a sequel up =P
~k8
6/23/2004 c1 Dompo
You're de-proving.I thought you could do much better-but this is the introduction chapter after all.Maybe it'll get better as it progresses.Don't dissapoint me now ;) Still,it's kinda dissapointing how there isn't a longer prologue.
Heh.Harsh enough?Keep up the good work ^_^
You're de-proving.I thought you could do much better-but this is the introduction chapter after all.Maybe it'll get better as it progresses.Don't dissapoint me now ;) Still,it's kinda dissapointing how there isn't a longer prologue.
Heh.Harsh enough?Keep up the good work ^_^