12/3/2004 c22 ninj
OMG I LOVE THE ALTERNATIVE ENDINGS! wow... u did a great job.
"taking over the world is stupid, get a life!" i love that.
"arrested for breaking the law of gravity " another fave
great imagintation and ur humor awesome... well most of the time. sometimes ur a LITTLE too random, like in ur actual real story... but the funny stuff is awesome.
definitely A+
OMG I LOVE THE ALTERNATIVE ENDINGS! wow... u did a great job.
"taking over the world is stupid, get a life!" i love that.
"arrested for breaking the law of gravity " another fave
great imagintation and ur humor awesome... well most of the time. sometimes ur a LITTLE too random, like in ur actual real story... but the funny stuff is awesome.
definitely A+
10/17/2004 c20 Rod
"What's that new guy's name?" Sasha asked.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO B SARA!
"What's that new guy's name?" Sasha asked.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO B SARA!
9/8/2004 c16 Boogey
uh...right...super saiyin...
Er = Goku
Harker = Vegeta
uh...right...super saiyin...
Er = Goku
Harker = Vegeta
9/7/2004 c16 Double A
HahA!1 j00 r teh l337!
HahA!1 j00 r teh l337!
9/6/2004 c16 ninj
hehe, i actually really liked this chapter.. veryv ery cool. u started adding concern in peoples minds which is always good.. the wasabi thing in the wolfsbane was a little unneeded tho. awesome chapter. loved the supersaiyan XD
hehe, i actually really liked this chapter.. veryv ery cool. u started adding concern in peoples minds which is always good.. the wasabi thing in the wolfsbane was a little unneeded tho. awesome chapter. loved the supersaiyan XD
8/25/2004 c15 ninj
awesome story, but as a whole, u gotta change the characters. in EVERY story, charaters learn, become the wiser, and make it serious. WHen lives are in danger, that is NOT the way people would act. i kno ur having fun with the characters, but i think from here on... u can make a serious story.. a good one... i trust ur writeing skills.
also, STOP IT WITHT HE GUN BALLISTIC! people would NOT be playing that inthe mean time, they would probably be planning or training. it is a serious matter, saving friends and the world. very very serious indeed. add some melodrama, some emotion. there seems tobe none of that. when everyone though rob died, there was just nothing, not even tears. i just think thats morally a low point... if rob died on US would WE jsut go on and say "hes better off dead" ? dun think so. you could've made some real interesting scenes with all the excitement. the humor u add is very funny i must say again, but dont get carried away... this has potential! make it a great story... turn it into an adventure, not just some joke. u got the talent to turn it around. i hope u take my suggestion to heart.
roderick - stop saying noob!
Er and Harker etc - stop playing GB!
harker - STOP BEING SLEEPY! LIVES ARE AT STAKE! START CARING FOR PEOPLE! MAYBE EVEN SHED A TEAR!
sasha - STOP SAYING HARKERS HOT! (lol i kno its me *shrugs*)
Alek - stop getting prank ideas.. when lives are at stake, dont play around!
DAnte - ... actually pretty good character
Jade - good too
kreuz - ... do more magic
anton - hes ok, but need more development really
well guess this review is finished, continue on with the story!
awesome story, but as a whole, u gotta change the characters. in EVERY story, charaters learn, become the wiser, and make it serious. WHen lives are in danger, that is NOT the way people would act. i kno ur having fun with the characters, but i think from here on... u can make a serious story.. a good one... i trust ur writeing skills.
also, STOP IT WITHT HE GUN BALLISTIC! people would NOT be playing that inthe mean time, they would probably be planning or training. it is a serious matter, saving friends and the world. very very serious indeed. add some melodrama, some emotion. there seems tobe none of that. when everyone though rob died, there was just nothing, not even tears. i just think thats morally a low point... if rob died on US would WE jsut go on and say "hes better off dead" ? dun think so. you could've made some real interesting scenes with all the excitement. the humor u add is very funny i must say again, but dont get carried away... this has potential! make it a great story... turn it into an adventure, not just some joke. u got the talent to turn it around. i hope u take my suggestion to heart.
roderick - stop saying noob!
Er and Harker etc - stop playing GB!
harker - STOP BEING SLEEPY! LIVES ARE AT STAKE! START CARING FOR PEOPLE! MAYBE EVEN SHED A TEAR!
sasha - STOP SAYING HARKERS HOT! (lol i kno its me *shrugs*)
Alek - stop getting prank ideas.. when lives are at stake, dont play around!
DAnte - ... actually pretty good character
Jade - good too
kreuz - ... do more magic
anton - hes ok, but need more development really
well guess this review is finished, continue on with the story!
8/25/2004 c14 ninj
hey... can u make me more serious... im not on crack all the time... im jsut like that when im in school ;D. i DO get serious u kno O.o blah, im starting to not like my stereotype because im a static character, no change, instead of a dynamic one... hehe... maybe im complaining too much...
and i dont say alan is hot THAT randomly do i? its just as random as u saying the sky is blue...
hey... can u make me more serious... im not on crack all the time... im jsut like that when im in school ;D. i DO get serious u kno O.o blah, im starting to not like my stereotype because im a static character, no change, instead of a dynamic one... hehe... maybe im complaining too much...
and i dont say alan is hot THAT randomly do i? its just as random as u saying the sky is blue...
8/25/2004 c13 ninj
HAHAHAH omg, REALLY funny chapter, the soy sauce was HILARIOUS and whats with alek and the random comments. i had to stop myself from laughing too hard so i wouldn't wake up my parents XD wow, real good stuff
"soy sauce is good seasoning!"
XD gotta love that
got real talent for humor ^.^
HAHAHAH omg, REALLY funny chapter, the soy sauce was HILARIOUS and whats with alek and the random comments. i had to stop myself from laughing too hard so i wouldn't wake up my parents XD wow, real good stuff
"soy sauce is good seasoning!"
XD gotta love that
got real talent for humor ^.^
8/10/2004 c5 ninj
my dear lord abby hahaha, cant believe u put that stuff in there. its not the whole truth but its funny all the same. .
lol, alans hot
my dear lord abby hahaha, cant believe u put that stuff in there. its not the whole truth but its funny all the same. .
lol, alans hot
7/21/2004 c7 Boogieman
Gettin a lil sloppy w/ the typos, missin words, n grammar hehe :Þ
Gettin a lil sloppy w/ the typos, missin words, n grammar hehe :Þ
7/9/2004 c2 Double A
Constantine- 9 VA, 1 PA, 10 OA
Dante- 1 VA, 0 PA, 1 OA
Jade- 1 VA, 0 PA, 1 OA
And Constantine takes the lead in overall abuse! Dante and Jade tied with 1 verbal abuse each!
Constantine- 9 VA, 1 PA, 10 OA
Dante- 1 VA, 0 PA, 1 OA
Jade- 1 VA, 0 PA, 1 OA
And Constantine takes the lead in overall abuse! Dante and Jade tied with 1 verbal abuse each!
7/9/2004 c3 erli in disguise aka not erli
Helping Double A with the stats...
VA- Verbal Abuse
PA- Physical Abuse
OA-Overall Abuse
Dante- 0 VA, 0 PA, 0 OA
Harker- 3 VA, 1 PA, 4 OA
Constantine- 2 VA, 0 PA, 2 OA
Er Li- 4 VA, 1 PA, 5 OA
Yoko- 1 VA, 0 PA, 1 OA
Jade- 2 VA, 1 PA, 3 OA
Sasha- 0 VA, 0 PA, 0 OA
Victor- 0 VA, 0 PA, 0 OA
Roderick- 0 VA, 0 PA, 0 OA
Anton- 0 VA, 0 PA, 0 OA
Well. Who got the most abuse? Er Li leads in overall and verbal abuse. Harker is next overall and verbally. There's a tie between Jade, Er Li, and Harker for physical abuse.
Helping Double A with the stats...
VA- Verbal Abuse
PA- Physical Abuse
OA-Overall Abuse
Dante- 0 VA, 0 PA, 0 OA
Harker- 3 VA, 1 PA, 4 OA
Constantine- 2 VA, 0 PA, 2 OA
Er Li- 4 VA, 1 PA, 5 OA
Yoko- 1 VA, 0 PA, 1 OA
Jade- 2 VA, 1 PA, 3 OA
Sasha- 0 VA, 0 PA, 0 OA
Victor- 0 VA, 0 PA, 0 OA
Roderick- 0 VA, 0 PA, 0 OA
Anton- 0 VA, 0 PA, 0 OA
Well. Who got the most abuse? Er Li leads in overall and verbal abuse. Harker is next overall and verbally. There's a tie between Jade, Er Li, and Harker for physical abuse.
7/2/2004 c5 THe Boogah
at least it's lil more organized hehe...still funny...but...whats w/ ch.5 at the end...w/ the relationships...god...
at least it's lil more organized hehe...still funny...but...whats w/ ch.5 at the end...w/ the relationships...god...
6/30/2004 c1 29MelodyReiterLee
Hi guys! Thank you for all the input. I promise I will get more organized. I won't repeat what I was going to write here so read the note before chapter 2. Hope I didn't scare anyone off...^^;; (Stacy)
As for names of the people, some are similar to originals and look at actions to see too. Too many characters? Well, I think I have a plan. lol
Geez, abuse tallies. Didn't even know there were that many ^^;; Anyways, enjoy and keep reading.
Yup. Will loosen up. Plot coming... was foreshadowed but is coming.. this is harder than I thought it'd be^^;; lol
Hi guys! Thank you for all the input. I promise I will get more organized. I won't repeat what I was going to write here so read the note before chapter 2. Hope I didn't scare anyone off...^^;; (Stacy)
As for names of the people, some are similar to originals and look at actions to see too. Too many characters? Well, I think I have a plan. lol
Geez, abuse tallies. Didn't even know there were that many ^^;; Anyways, enjoy and keep reading.
Yup. Will loosen up. Plot coming... was foreshadowed but is coming.. this is harder than I thought it'd be^^;; lol
6/28/2004 c1 erli
everything's direct characterization! use less and more indirect
but ninj is ninj lol
double a's review is just great! rofl Double a must be bored to actually count that... lol
everything's direct characterization! use less and more indirect
but ninj is ninj lol
double a's review is just great! rofl Double a must be bored to actually count that... lol