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6/2/2005 c3 4Undecided.And.Confused
This is really funny. But it is true that fairy tales are always perfect, time to ruin them i guess. I did see some books this year thou'. Didin't themthou'. WellI like it keep going.
1/26/2005 c3 10Jaz108
sorry I cant review more than once every chapter.. (wait I ┬┤can! I just ned to logout!)ah, whatever.. Im too lazy... but Ill review for every chapter.. K?

anyways.. I think this is so fun! prince charming is ugly, merlin youg and a princess is out to rescue someone! w00t! girl power! (yes, I did listen to spice girls.. when I wes 9 or sumething.. not anymore... LINLIN PARK! THE OFFSPRING! JAZ-Z! EMINEM! thats what I liste to now adays... =P)

anyway.. when will you update?

/Jaz
1/26/2005 c2 Jaz108
hahahhahahahahahhaha... I get funny looks for laughing.. Im in school.. and most people here are pretty normal.. but a girl in my class just said "shes reding Fp.. ignore her"... which made me laugh even more... =P

/Jaz
1/26/2005 c1 Jaz108
Oh My God! This is funny! Your realy good at writng!

and also.. in th email where I sent as an answer to you review.. I forgot one thing... when I opened it I wa slike OH MY GOD! SHE reviewed ME! I could hardly believe it... your lie a really good writer.. and all Im good at writng is stuff for school and once in a while a good review to a good writer... admit facts.. my story sucks.. well, I guess reality does, so whats the big surprise.. amnyway.. gotta go and finnish reading this story! I like it!

/Jaz
9/9/2004 c1 the goddess Aradia
laughing!
btw, who is dolly?
9/5/2004 c3 acccountnolongerinuse
This is good! Can't wait to read about Esmerelda!
8/9/2004 c1 l i Q i
wosn it longer dan dis b4?...but yehp its very interestin and i S2 the idea of mixing the fairy tales up...great story...finish it soon
8/1/2004 c1 28Tk.T
This shouldn't be rated PG, but rather, PG-13. The first line I read here was "Goddamnit!" (A shocker when you're expecting PG material) Anyway, pretty funny so far. Humor/parody...pretty kewl!
Happy writing!
Tk.T~
7/31/2004 c3 2elze
i will analyse deeply and thoughtfully for you since that is what you want.
First of all. I LOVE the journal style. HOWEVER, it does render the reader to become slightly puzzled and in a state of mental confusion-its not your fault...its because the writing style are all the same font and since the paragraphs (ie.ideas and convos) are mentioned BEFORE the name, it gets confusing who is saying what. No doubt, if this was a PUBLISHED novel, then the concept would work much better...eg. you know in Meg Cabot's books, the conversations and emails always have a particular style of handwriting or the person's email is mentioned at the top. that way, the reader immediately know who is talking.
secondly, i would just like to say that each character is exceptionally well-established with fixed dispositions (ie. personas), BUT the idea or PLOT is not so well established yet. In admist the hectic turmoil and fast-paced action and wordplay, there MUST be a central idea which the reader can clearly identify. in your case, all we know is that there is this feisty girl who has to rescue prince 'charming' from the 'evil' merlin. in your case, i believe you should add a small and rather sinister sub-plot in ADMIST the plot...OR have a series of events which ultimately leads to other events...coz Dolly is getting nowhere...i mean, dolly already reached merlin's castle in chap 1 but she is STILL in merlin's castle in chap 3 and she has ONLY JUST realised prince charming?maybe its just me...-_-"
ok...screw the formalities...whe...that mustve been the most tough comment ive ever written.soz been so hard on yea and all...guess what? i just realised that i actually GOT AN ACCOUNT!...i don remember ever having an account! but now i do! whoa...ok..
if you feel bad about all my tecchie words (some i do not even know myself but sounded critical) then i am REALI SORRY! you did say go hard on yah...
KEEP ON WRITING!
LOVE
ANON...(but you know who...)...or do you?
7/30/2004 c3 Guest
hey xin it's klo. This is an interesting design concept. Inspired by Shrek 2 and the History of England? Where on earth is Dolly from? Btw, I'm not sure what you should do, but you need to kind of kick up the plot a little - it's a little slow I reckon... I'm not really a fan of journal entries coz I always get confused as to who's writing what.
7/24/2004 c1 4purebliss90
XIN! I'm Leona, can't believe that i found your account...anywayz, interesting stori so far. Update Soon~~
7/17/2004 c1 timeless
show no mercy? yeah right, you'll kill me.
but back to the review, its a you kind of story, cant say more to it.
and post up more chaps. too little on right now. and how many people have you bullied into reviewing?
7/15/2004 c3 4jemraja
n so it continuez in total rockin' Laff out Loud style ~!
iz dolly gonna fall fer merlin? shez Got to...or mebbe itz too cliched but then itz a fairytale...sort of.
um well, hum.
GGOO PRINCE CHARMING! he rocks! man, yu ave GOTTA write heapsa more on him, yuh? actually itd b really funny if somehow dolly ended up with charming... tho terribly wrong at the same time...
hahah YES this bit iz totally LOL! ~ Every time I see Mr Basil-look-alike he seemed to be eating a banana.
go proofread it yurself fer all tha grammer! so lazyy, girl...yu better get the next one up soon...or well i guess yu can prolong it fer a few dayz to get mroe ppl to read it...READ IT EVERYONE! AND THEN REVIEW! [or xin will glare at yu n trust me, thatz Scary]
7/15/2004 c2 jemraja
man i am in LOVE with tha bananaz n water thing! poor merlin =P
hahah hez lyk going nutz with tha banana thing...
"Go put some of the food Gretel makes into the shape of bananas. They'll look like bananas, they'll taste like bananas, hell they can even BE bananas! But they aren't bananas! That's the beauty of this! THEY'RE BANANAS THAT REALLY AREN'T BANANAS! Damn I'm good!"
yes charming iz az per usual CHARMING with his gayness and total uphimselfness...
hehe n everyone! notice *A note from the hand of Gretel:* - so kool ent it?
yes itz better when yu change it...yu should change it more often to put surprises in ^^!
7/7/2004 c1 2W3DNESDAY
be VERY hard on you huh? lol, wow.. you're the ONLY person i've met that's ever said that exactly like that.. it actually makes me wanna say only nice things, lol
anyway, i usually don't really like diary-format stories.. usually it ends up being too much whining.. bad, slang-y language and it's too cut up for much plot/character development, etc.
i do hope that the next chapter is in regular format
ANYWAY..i think you should cut down some of rapunzel's complaining.. it's a tad annoying.. hahaha, but i *can't* believe that prince charming wears a wig! agh! turn off! your prince charming is super creative.. i hope he gets to have some real dialogue with other characters in the next chap.
hahha "makeup-less but still beautiful"! ..yea right he's beautiful!
ok, merlin being 22 and dolly's love interest is great, all the possibilities that a guy with magic can offer! lol.. but, merlin doesn't seem to have a distinct character in his diary entry.. maybe you should lengthen it
what kind of person is he exactly?
woop di doo, this is a great first effort, writing can only get better with practice
wow.. don't you just love long reviews? i do! haha, i always try to ramble on or a paragraph or two to make reviews extra long too, lol
i wonder how rapunzel is going to fit into all of these happenings..
anyway, (i keep saying that don't i?) very creative! is this going to be a funny story? the characters sound like they could get into some really hilarious trouble
ok, p.s... about updating soon.. i'm sorry to say that i am one of those "lazy" updaters.. i seriously don't have the time to write! i'm swamped with work.. argh, and my co-author's on holiday (curse her!)
anyway, toodles!
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