for Here Without You7/12/2005 c1 
6Gilee7
This is too short too. I was thinking it was longer, but half of the story is just the song, which I didn't even bother to read. That's not a good way to set it up, and you don't need to include the whole song. Put only the lyrics that best relate to the story and place them at the top of the story. That's how it should be done. That is the most effective way. As for the actual story, it was alright. I liked the ending, twin daughters and twin tears. There were quite a few good sentences that really portrayed the emotions and also painted a very nice picture. It isn't that well written though. The story is in 3rd, but then occasionally it switches to first person, and that is incredibly confusing and really disrupts the story. Either make it all in first, or leave it all in 3rd, don't switch, or at least not like that. You can have flashbacks without writing them in 1st person.
6Gilee7This is too short too. I was thinking it was longer, but half of the story is just the song, which I didn't even bother to read. That's not a good way to set it up, and you don't need to include the whole song. Put only the lyrics that best relate to the story and place them at the top of the story. That's how it should be done. That is the most effective way. As for the actual story, it was alright. I liked the ending, twin daughters and twin tears. There were quite a few good sentences that really portrayed the emotions and also painted a very nice picture. It isn't that well written though. The story is in 3rd, but then occasionally it switches to first person, and that is incredibly confusing and really disrupts the story. Either make it all in first, or leave it all in 3rd, don't switch, or at least not like that. You can have flashbacks without writing them in 1st person.