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3/27/2006 c1 Ephemeral Seraphim
Ean, just because I'm your friend and your .:Lovely Assistant:. **muah** I've decided to grace your story with a review. I'll try to review every chapter, if I can, though I doubt I can review them all during this time, since I've got loads of schoolwork to do, and you know how tolling that can be. Well, anyways, as for the first chapter of this story, I found that it held a good impression on me. The writing voice is distinctive and clear, and the way you present your characters and the plot is seamless. Inspiration for the story from well-beloved animes (I'm thinking this reminds me mostly of Hack, like one of your reviewers has mentioned) works wonders here, and you present it in true storytelling style. Like Terryll says, there are no original ideas out in the world; however, it's up to a writer to breathe life into age-old ideas again and make them their own. The RPG-esque elements which I'm so much in love with are incorporated here, and it gives the story a nice touch. You have done this nicely, and you've included elements of manga and anime-esque techniques that make this story, overall, feel just like a real anime or manga. I'm sure with your illustrative talents, you would perhaps grace the internet world with a manga version of Tales of a Swordmaster, hm? ;) The first person perspective can be a tricky point of view to work from, but from what I see, there are no stutters and hiccups throughout the flow, and each word clicks together in neat sentences that captivate the reader. The wording, in other words, is excellent, along with the author's voice. You've got definitive talent for that, all right, though I'm sure you don't need me telling you that, seeing that other people have recognized this talent of yours. However, I had to make mention of it, because you are one of my idols of writers :) Anyway, the chapter is intricately detailed, and the way that you present such verbose description is wonderfully played, and it really draws the reader into the feel and dimension of the world you're presenting. Of course, I'm always a sucker for detail, and you have satiated my need for lovely prose. The lighthearted charm of this story is a refreshing change from more of the angsty stories I see on Fictionpress (not that I mind the angst, mind you, because I am a lover of drama&angst, but reading a comedic story for once...that's big news for me XD) Of course, I've established that you're writing is great, and it has definite strengths in its descriptive powers and magical storytelling capabilities. The one thing that really makes this story shine is the characters. Once I began reading this, I learned to fall in love with them, and reading it again, I fell in love with them again. They're endearing personalities, especially Lise, who I think complements Ean quite nicely. The interaction between those two are also executed quite well, and it's interesting to see their relationship and what their reactions to one another are. I shall review again in the near future :)

chibichocobo
10/6/2005 c12 1Terryll Preston
Nice Ean, very nice! I really find myself liking this Monkey King and his battle with Ean and Kankuro - the entire thing reminded me of something out of Drangonball Z, which is super-cool! Hm...ever thought about writing DBZ fanfiction? If you ever did, I'd be there to read it! Well, anyways, back to the review of this chapter! First off, I detected a number of very simple spelling errors interspersed throughout the first half of your text. All of them seemed to be either missplled words or words missing there first letter (i.e. 'stance' instead of 'tance'). Beyond that, I came across nothing else that could be construed as a problem in either spelling or grammar. As usual, I love the character interaction between Ean and Lise (that's right, leader of the Lise Fanboy Society right here!) was excellently handled and your ability to write both nicely paced action and incredibly witty comedy is spot on! It's another good job Ean, and I'm sorry it took so long for me to review you. I just get really lazy sometimes and don't feel like writing anything. LOL! Anyways, I can't wait to see what you have planned for the next chapter and I'm even more excited to see that you might be adding an 'event plotline' to the story! I think that'd be cool! Well, see you later Ean! Keep up the good writing!

See you next review!

Terryll Preston, still2twisted of FictionPress fame...
9/27/2005 c3 10Chibi-Akemi
Well that was unexpected. They built a huge colliseum just for a Paper Scissors Rock game? *falls as the huge sweatdrop lands on her again* Dammit! That's so funny and ridiculous at the same time.

Well so far I'd have to say my favourite character is Lise.
9/27/2005 c2 Chibi-Akemi
Well that was an amusing chapter. Very short it is yes, indeed. My advice? Do not type a story after chatting with someone on MSN. I saw the word "thru" and thought "NO! CHAT SPEAK! RUN FOR YOUR PITIFUL LIVES!"

So um...for the future? Be careful.
9/27/2005 c1 Chibi-Akemi
It almost sounds like DotHackSign except with the name change. It was still good nonetheless and I am looking forward to more!
9/25/2005 c1 2Oni Starwind
Ah this story is very well written and very much like my story fantasy world. But i can look past that and enjoy this very much. Very good job here i see no errors. I am also the person on the board by the name of limitbreakercrew even though i'm not in the crew anymore.
8/17/2005 c12 3Russ-Xavier
update more u cliffhanger using lunatic!i'll not come here for months at a time and u still haven't updated!WHATS UP WITH THAT!oh and nice chappie,heh heh,french maid. lol
8/2/2005 c12 21as beauty dies
long chapters are the nicest I think. along with good prose and the occasional unique plot. this reminds me so much of an RPG. I like that though, it just gives me that distinct feel whenever I come across it. the writing toward the begining was - to be blunt - a bit boring when it came down to it. I sometimes would kip a paragraph or two, though well written it seemed over drawn.

though I don't mind at all, that was once or twice but helpful little gnomes are helpful! the writing has gone better as time progressed and this seems to have matured on its own and become its own creation, its own little world. I love that. very clever in portraying that and explaining history we are not familiar with. I adore that so much. *claps*

the characters are all so different. each has their own seperate personality and have their quirks. the humorous lines / dialogue and scenes made me chuckle while some scenes had my heart hammering hard in my chest. that is wonderful. to do that takes great amount of skill.

I see little to no flaws to this. I really enjoy it and hope to see were you take us later one. ...hold the phone! there was no plot? *sweat drops* I feel like a moron now.

~* as beauty dies *~
6/3/2005 c11 1Terryll Preston
Sometimes short chapters are the way to go! There's absolutely nothing wrong with...at least as far as I'm concerned. Well anyways, let's get to the review shall we? The bad first. Near the end, I found about two or three spelling mistakes. And that's about it! Seriously, if there any others in this chapter I didn't catch them. But as usual, I'm gonna tell you to go over your work again...just for the sake of catching any mistakes that I might have missed. As far as the story goes, it remains pretty interesting though I find myself wishing that the characters would get involved in some sort of 'Event'. I know that you want to make this different from something like '.hack' or any of the numerous other 'virtual roleplaying world' type stories, but having an advancing story isn't that bad a thing to introduce. Having a storyline that will keep the readers on the edge of their seats would only make this story better than it already is. Give it a try, Ean! I don't think that any harm could come from it! Well, that's my two cents! Thanks for the review on 'slash/DANCE fUtUrE' and I hope that you keep up the good work on this story...

See you next review!

Terryll Preston, still2twisted of FictionPress fame...
5/8/2005 c11 3Russ-Xavier
how many times must u be told,no more bloody cliffhangers!lol,nice chappie,although short,update soon and dont make us wait so long!
1/7/2005 c10 19SeraphicTempest
Write more! :P You are truly a great writer at this, no overplaying on battle scenes. I have just one question, what happened to the Yojimbo Katana he got from Dante? I hope you upload soon :P
1/1/2005 c10 7Micoladen mile
Hey hey, after such a long time, another chapter's up. Not a bad one, it seems. Too Long, has Ean stopped going to a massive adventure or quest to get a huge reward while teaming up with someone he never liked while saving the damsel in distress. Nicely done, Nicely linked, and nicely included with tons of action and the sword and such.

Well, thats about the good part. Now, hear me out on the not-so-good parts.

Firstly, on the short sword thing. I don't really understand the need for saying that its a wazaka-whatsitsname and a short sword. Well, it may be just me, or it may be used in the future chapters, but, well, its kinda weird to say that its a wazakashi which looks identical to a short sword. =)

well, next,although the rescuing Lise part was nicely done, and the scene was rather...amusing. It could have incoporated abit of defensive manuvuers from Ean as he was, actually, not in the wrong. Well, even kicked in the groin, people may still have that little bit of power left for speech, yeah?

Something like: Look at those bloody severed arrows. You Blinked so you didnt see them. Damn u!

Something like that. Well, thats abit too excessive, but, thats me. =)

Thats kinda all. Its a great chapter. and well, you have to write more. and please, have less cliffhangers.

Thanks. Rgds
12/29/2004 c10 1Terryll Preston
Wow Ean, that was a very impressive chapter to your story. You really have gotten much better at character interation and development - I absolutely love Ean and Lise. The flow for this chapter was also right on the money, with maybe two or three errors (mostly spelling) that I found. Your talents for describing scenes and situations never fail to capture my complete attention and leave me thoroughly enraptured with your writing. I can't wait for the next chapter! Oh yeah, thanks for the review on 'Mode Gray'! It was really appreciated! Update soon!

See you next review!

still2twisted
12/22/2004 c10 Ardali
Pretty cool. I nicetolearn a bit about the misterious Lise, and some of the abilities of Masamune. Whatsup with the brothr though? Okay, nw that im done with that. I your writing style is pretty nice, and you allow alot of the emotion of the characters to show in your writing.
12/3/2004 c9 Ardali
**GASP!** Wow, what do you do? Just sit around trying to come up with material for this? I love the latest chapters. Keep them coming... please?
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