for The Family7/8/2004 c1 decree of fate
Definitely interesting so far...like how you sorta did a flashback there. Uh...don't have any ideas for it...still trying to get ideas for what's going to be happening next in my stories...well, I do hope that you will continue this story though.
Definitely interesting so far...like how you sorta did a flashback there. Uh...don't have any ideas for it...still trying to get ideas for what's going to be happening next in my stories...well, I do hope that you will continue this story though.
7/7/2004 c1 
2azntwice
hrm, well, the point is to introduce some conflict. for the whole comic/realistic deal you can have his old gf come back, or have one of the girls sarah thought he'd go after come in. or you can do the angst thing and make her pregnant or have conflicting career paths or introduce a deadly disease that tests their love to the limit. or an unhappy relative. your choice... just a few ideas.
2azntwicehrm, well, the point is to introduce some conflict. for the whole comic/realistic deal you can have his old gf come back, or have one of the girls sarah thought he'd go after come in. or you can do the angst thing and make her pregnant or have conflicting career paths or introduce a deadly disease that tests their love to the limit. or an unhappy relative. your choice... just a few ideas.
7/6/2004 c1 3Savoria
Personally, I thought that this was a slightly shallow story. if you revised and rewrote parts, it would be much better.
First, the ending makes it nearly impossible for this to be continued. Anyway, my advice(depending on how you want the story to go) would be for something to happen that breaks them apart, then have them later get back together. Just a suggestion though.
3SavoriaPersonally, I thought that this was a slightly shallow story. if you revised and rewrote parts, it would be much better.
First, the ending makes it nearly impossible for this to be continued. Anyway, my advice(depending on how you want the story to go) would be for something to happen that breaks them apart, then have them later get back together. Just a suggestion though.