for La Tristesse2/21/2005 c7 Calisto
O gosh...I can't believe you're a guy. Lol, no offense intended. I really like this story though so keep up the good work.
O gosh...I can't believe you're a guy. Lol, no offense intended. I really like this story though so keep up the good work.
10/30/2004 c9 
31Cindy Moon
=] You're on your way to terseness. Nice, short, and exactly to the point. Good choice of title. (Can I request a Debussy? ^_~) Crazy library, how I covet one. Random piece of advice, watch some 50's movies and pick up on the lingo.
"Good writing is often about letting go of fear and affectation"- Stephen King
Until next post then,
-Cindy Moon *)
31Cindy Moon=] You're on your way to terseness. Nice, short, and exactly to the point. Good choice of title. (Can I request a Debussy? ^_~) Crazy library, how I covet one. Random piece of advice, watch some 50's movies and pick up on the lingo.
"Good writing is often about letting go of fear and affectation"- Stephen King
Until next post then,
-Cindy Moon *)
10/30/2004 c8 Cindy Moon
I still can't put my finger on it, why I enjoy this so much I'll never know. Amazing how I can personally connect with the characters as well. Anna's view on Madama Butterfly is the same as mine ^_~. (The glass is all empty) I have to question how do you manage to write from a feminine perspective. *applauds*
-Cindy Moon *)
I still can't put my finger on it, why I enjoy this so much I'll never know. Amazing how I can personally connect with the characters as well. Anna's view on Madama Butterfly is the same as mine ^_~. (The glass is all empty) I have to question how do you manage to write from a feminine perspective. *applauds*
-Cindy Moon *)
9/28/2004 c7 Cindy Moon
Subtle hinting; how I do love your flair. You have the potential to be something with your writing. I'm sure you'd have no problem writing a novel in 30 days. No criticism once again alas, APUSH calls to me. x.X
-Cindy Moon *)
Subtle hinting; how I do love your flair. You have the potential to be something with your writing. I'm sure you'd have no problem writing a novel in 30 days. No criticism once again alas, APUSH calls to me. x.X
-Cindy Moon *)
9/19/2004 c6 Cindy Moon
From now on, I'll just be reading for entertaining; it makes the time go by much quicker. ^^ I can see your efforts with lumping the whole decade in at once.Great job with your research as well. Nice juxtaposition with fact and fiction. Memories there of Woman Warrior... (Sigh, the irony that American Bandstand isn't in this) =] Well, you've made me happy the rest of the week. Decent chapter, keep up the wonderful work, update or else, and that's about it. (Always the number one fan ^_~ -until I start posting my work again at least)
-Cindy Moon *)
From now on, I'll just be reading for entertaining; it makes the time go by much quicker. ^^ I can see your efforts with lumping the whole decade in at once.Great job with your research as well. Nice juxtaposition with fact and fiction. Memories there of Woman Warrior... (Sigh, the irony that American Bandstand isn't in this) =] Well, you've made me happy the rest of the week. Decent chapter, keep up the wonderful work, update or else, and that's about it. (Always the number one fan ^_~ -until I start posting my work again at least)
-Cindy Moon *)
9/12/2004 c5 Get Lucky 101
ahh,
This is truning out to be a great story, I love you discription, and I love the extensive vocabulary used but since I always try to critisize at least one thing... here goes nothing. I love how you have developed most of the caracters, but with Gene there is still a question of his personality traits, I know he is very laid back, and has fun teasing Anna, but when to much stress is applied does he have a flip personality? for example does Gene crumble under the stress? or does he stick his head up and charge full forward into another attempt, failure or not?
love yah much
MO
p,s,~ I know that was I pretty shoddy crit., I'm truly sorry but I can't really find anything that is really terrible, so I was forced to pick somwthing that was very trivial.
ahh,
This is truning out to be a great story, I love you discription, and I love the extensive vocabulary used but since I always try to critisize at least one thing... here goes nothing. I love how you have developed most of the caracters, but with Gene there is still a question of his personality traits, I know he is very laid back, and has fun teasing Anna, but when to much stress is applied does he have a flip personality? for example does Gene crumble under the stress? or does he stick his head up and charge full forward into another attempt, failure or not?
love yah much
MO
p,s,~ I know that was I pretty shoddy crit., I'm truly sorry but I can't really find anything that is really terrible, so I was forced to pick somwthing that was very trivial.
9/12/2004 c2 Get Lucky 101
I am not a musical person, I once was but not any more, but after reading this I suddenly have an urge to start up again and enter a pertigious musical school ^^ keep up the good work and I'll keep reading and reviewing
love yah much
mo
p.s.~ sorry it took so long to review I've been a bit busy, ^^''
I am not a musical person, I once was but not any more, but after reading this I suddenly have an urge to start up again and enter a pertigious musical school ^^ keep up the good work and I'll keep reading and reviewing
love yah much
mo
p.s.~ sorry it took so long to review I've been a bit busy, ^^''
9/8/2004 c5 5kitty-mao-mao
Well written, as usual. And you're in the dreaded cello section! (i say dreaded because you guys get stared at). i always liked the harp, they sound so beautiful and i can only guess how hard it is to learn. Wow, you have a musical family, does your parents play an instrument or sing? (just a thought...)
Thanks for reading my story, and finding me interesting, cause i'm really boring and altogether unamusing, but it's still nice to know you seem interesing, so thanks again.
5kitty-mao-maoWell written, as usual. And you're in the dreaded cello section! (i say dreaded because you guys get stared at). i always liked the harp, they sound so beautiful and i can only guess how hard it is to learn. Wow, you have a musical family, does your parents play an instrument or sing? (just a thought...)
Thanks for reading my story, and finding me interesting, cause i'm really boring and altogether unamusing, but it's still nice to know you seem interesing, so thanks again.
9/7/2004 c5 31Cindy Moon
I wonder if your timeline is correct for this story; I keep picturing a modern setting, but you have it set in the 50's correct? Aw, you have the wrong music for this time period. (I would read more for critique and comment if I didn't have so much homework x.x) Your updates are completely worth not doing it though, if I fail... I blame you.
Wonderful chapeter; I have yet to discover why I'm so captivated by it. Mysteries of life, some aren't meant to be answered. Until next time then, much love and inspiration to my favorite person.
-Cindy Moon *)
31Cindy MoonI wonder if your timeline is correct for this story; I keep picturing a modern setting, but you have it set in the 50's correct? Aw, you have the wrong music for this time period. (I would read more for critique and comment if I didn't have so much homework x.x) Your updates are completely worth not doing it though, if I fail... I blame you.
Wonderful chapeter; I have yet to discover why I'm so captivated by it. Mysteries of life, some aren't meant to be answered. Until next time then, much love and inspiration to my favorite person.
-Cindy Moon *)
8/24/2004 c4 5kitty-mao-mao
well written story. you must personally play in an orcastra, the description of orcastra rehersals are very real. as for the piano, hehe, brave and devoted boy to play four or five hours, it's a real pain playing non stop for a couple of hours...you loose yourself in music and two hours later, you have a sore back!lol, it really happens! and i feel sorry for anyone playing the cello, great instrument, terrible if you have to carry it anywhere.=P and if your wondering, no, i don't play the cello, but the viola and piano =( terrible faith. well, keep writing, i'll hang on and see what happens next...now, back to chopin's mazurka...
5kitty-mao-maowell written story. you must personally play in an orcastra, the description of orcastra rehersals are very real. as for the piano, hehe, brave and devoted boy to play four or five hours, it's a real pain playing non stop for a couple of hours...you loose yourself in music and two hours later, you have a sore back!lol, it really happens! and i feel sorry for anyone playing the cello, great instrument, terrible if you have to carry it anywhere.=P and if your wondering, no, i don't play the cello, but the viola and piano =( terrible faith. well, keep writing, i'll hang on and see what happens next...now, back to chopin's mazurka...
8/23/2004 c4 jessclifton
Wow you got this chapter up a little earlier than I expected. Thanks! I must admit I'm a bit confused at who will be the romantic couple. It seems to me that Nathan and Anna might have something going on that is just beyond the boundary of friends, and I also think she and Gene might hook up. It also seems like Amie and Landon might get together. I hope it's Gene and Anna! I like Anna. You've created such an interesting character and I can't wait to read more!
Wow you got this chapter up a little earlier than I expected. Thanks! I must admit I'm a bit confused at who will be the romantic couple. It seems to me that Nathan and Anna might have something going on that is just beyond the boundary of friends, and I also think she and Gene might hook up. It also seems like Amie and Landon might get together. I hope it's Gene and Anna! I like Anna. You've created such an interesting character and I can't wait to read more!
8/20/2004 c4 2Psycho Tree
Amazing, tying in the relgious tones with an overall musical theme. Another quality I have to add to the appeal of this story. I love it even more now. The mention of Madama Butterfly makes my own heart flutter. If only you were a vocalist, then you could write about a choral rehearsal. Guess I'll have to write that one then. I love your sat vocab saturation as well. All in all, I would say this passed my standards. It's a wonderful story and I do hope you update soon. The beauty of your words and your music should be shared.
Gramatically I stress once again your overuse of ellipses. Watch your redundancy as well. For example ,"Yet, although..."
It does work in context with your sentence, but try to minimize your words as much as possible. I know you have creative leewey and all, but try to rephrase your sentences (it's passive vs, active voice stuff) Example:"... a girl named Giselle sat" would sound better as, "sat a girl named Giselle" Watch syntax as well.
-Tree
2Psycho TreeAmazing, tying in the relgious tones with an overall musical theme. Another quality I have to add to the appeal of this story. I love it even more now. The mention of Madama Butterfly makes my own heart flutter. If only you were a vocalist, then you could write about a choral rehearsal. Guess I'll have to write that one then. I love your sat vocab saturation as well. All in all, I would say this passed my standards. It's a wonderful story and I do hope you update soon. The beauty of your words and your music should be shared.
Gramatically I stress once again your overuse of ellipses. Watch your redundancy as well. For example ,"Yet, although..."
It does work in context with your sentence, but try to minimize your words as much as possible. I know you have creative leewey and all, but try to rephrase your sentences (it's passive vs, active voice stuff) Example:"... a girl named Giselle sat" would sound better as, "sat a girl named Giselle" Watch syntax as well.
-Tree
8/19/2004 c3 jessclifton
I love this story! I think there is a lot more to Anna and I hope Gene uncovers it!
I love this story! I think there is a lot more to Anna and I hope Gene uncovers it!
8/4/2004 c3 31Cindy Moon
Unfortunately, I live for the next chapter in this story. ^_~ So you'd better keep updating. It's a wonderful chapter.
I have a liking for Nathan now, good character to balance with Amie. (Watch the names, I think you're interchanging them)
Ah... and an ambiguous subject floating in the first paragraph.
"... concluded that she was 'missing in action' and stopped searching a while ago" Who stopped searching a while ago? Anna or Nathan? x.x live wire taking over me.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to reading this next chapter. Make it a good one =]
-Cindy Moon *)
31Cindy MoonUnfortunately, I live for the next chapter in this story. ^_~ So you'd better keep updating. It's a wonderful chapter.
I have a liking for Nathan now, good character to balance with Amie. (Watch the names, I think you're interchanging them)
Ah... and an ambiguous subject floating in the first paragraph.
"... concluded that she was 'missing in action' and stopped searching a while ago" Who stopped searching a while ago? Anna or Nathan? x.x live wire taking over me.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to reading this next chapter. Make it a good one =]
-Cindy Moon *)
7/19/2004 c2 Cindy Moon
Hey! Sorry for the slow response time; I've just been so busy lately. Now onward to this beautiful story. -stares-
Oh my, didn't you play Carmen Suite in the 8th grade? Which reminds me, you owe me a date to the opera or at least a broadway. =]
This story makes me feel all fuzzy inside, I think it's the musical aesthetic quality. I'm blinded to flaws so do excuse me for that; I'm overcome with content. Oh lookie, new character; I can see great possibilities with Mr. 11th Chair. Ack. No, I find odd sentence flaws, are you missing some words in certain sentences? (-nudge nudge- Send! I'm offering as an editor)
I feel so imcompetent that I couldn't find anything wrong with this... Your prose is so BEAUTIFUL! I'm so deeply in love with this. Thank you ^^
Character Anaylsis: I feel that Amie and Anna are giving off the same vibes as are Landon and Gene. They are all within the same confidence and cynical range; like how the characters can probably finish each others sentences since they pretty much think alike! Sorry to say, but your characters feel a little stoic. Hurry up with the next chapter, I'm dying of anticipation already.
Lots of love, Cindy Moon *)
Hey! Sorry for the slow response time; I've just been so busy lately. Now onward to this beautiful story. -stares-
Oh my, didn't you play Carmen Suite in the 8th grade? Which reminds me, you owe me a date to the opera or at least a broadway. =]
This story makes me feel all fuzzy inside, I think it's the musical aesthetic quality. I'm blinded to flaws so do excuse me for that; I'm overcome with content. Oh lookie, new character; I can see great possibilities with Mr. 11th Chair. Ack. No, I find odd sentence flaws, are you missing some words in certain sentences? (-nudge nudge- Send! I'm offering as an editor)
I feel so imcompetent that I couldn't find anything wrong with this... Your prose is so BEAUTIFUL! I'm so deeply in love with this. Thank you ^^
Character Anaylsis: I feel that Amie and Anna are giving off the same vibes as are Landon and Gene. They are all within the same confidence and cynical range; like how the characters can probably finish each others sentences since they pretty much think alike! Sorry to say, but your characters feel a little stoic. Hurry up with the next chapter, I'm dying of anticipation already.
Lots of love, Cindy Moon *)