for A Perfect Circle9/22/2006 c1 
1CatastrophicMindPollution
Wow, that story was AWESOME! That's like one of the best short stories I've read in a long time, keep up the good work! :)
1CatastrophicMindPollutionWow, that story was AWESOME! That's like one of the best short stories I've read in a long time, keep up the good work! :)
10/8/2005 c1 collarpopped09
wow,i thought your storywas excellent, i really loved it. maybe you could check out my story, buried mysteries, it is terrible but if you could R+R thatd be awesome thanks, btw it is just the prologue
-CollarPopped09(krista)
wow,i thought your storywas excellent, i really loved it. maybe you could check out my story, buried mysteries, it is terrible but if you could R+R thatd be awesome thanks, btw it is just the prologue
-CollarPopped09(krista)
9/13/2005 c1 Saphire Phoenix
Wow this kept me guessing with suspensive apprehension to where it was going and before i realized it ..it was over.
Wow this kept me guessing with suspensive apprehension to where it was going and before i realized it ..it was over.
5/6/2005 c1 54kaylajac
This started out with a good idea, but the ending was very disappointing, and the way you wrote it in a dream-like way was hard to understand. Good try, though.
54kaylajacThis started out with a good idea, but the ending was very disappointing, and the way you wrote it in a dream-like way was hard to understand. Good try, though.
5/5/2005 c1 14Whitechapel
, and it reminded the detective of a circle (and) The observant detective had noticed some hesitation : switch in POV
He bent underneath of it.: unlcear what you mean.
He stepped out of his car and: he was following a walking man by driving a car?
I don't like 'it was all a dream' sequences. They cheat me, the reader, into beleiving something that isn't there.
Once I started reading past that, I kept wondering, will this also not have any meaning?
The repetitive style worked very well in showing me his madness, rather than telling me.
The ring of darkness, being of nature, gave me a hickup. It seemed a stretch, coming from the man made light on his ceiling.
Overall, this piece is riviting, very well done. Thank you for sharing.
14Whitechapel, and it reminded the detective of a circle (and) The observant detective had noticed some hesitation : switch in POV
He bent underneath of it.: unlcear what you mean.
He stepped out of his car and: he was following a walking man by driving a car?
I don't like 'it was all a dream' sequences. They cheat me, the reader, into beleiving something that isn't there.
Once I started reading past that, I kept wondering, will this also not have any meaning?
The repetitive style worked very well in showing me his madness, rather than telling me.
The ring of darkness, being of nature, gave me a hickup. It seemed a stretch, coming from the man made light on his ceiling.
Overall, this piece is riviting, very well done. Thank you for sharing.
4/27/2005 c1 22GjK
It was good until it ended. This peice was no developed enought o be a short story... it works fine as a story chapter...minus the last paragraph but not as a story. It has no development nor fulfilling conclusion. I was really into readin the story and figuring out the myster untill...it ended and there was no mystery...
22GjKIt was good until it ended. This peice was no developed enought o be a short story... it works fine as a story chapter...minus the last paragraph but not as a story. It has no development nor fulfilling conclusion. I was really into readin the story and figuring out the myster untill...it ended and there was no mystery...