for Old Broken8/26/2005 c25 lemjo
*happy sigh* Yeah! Things are right between Matt and Kris again. I have this huge grin on my face right now, I love when happy things happen. Especially for Kris, she really deserves someone who will love her and treat her with respect. It's nice not to be mad at Matt anymore...he's one of my favorite male characters. I really did have faith things were going to work out between the two, but you had me a little worried with the previous two chapters. I think you did a great job showing Kris's breaking point with Blake all the way to her going through the healing process. I feel like she really developed as a character throughout the story. And she really seemed to learn from what was going on around her in the story. Okay I have to tell you, I had a really, really long week of school this week, and this chapter really brightened my evening. Which is good because I have work tomorrow. I can't believe there's only one more chapter of this story left. I'm going to miss it so much. I always look forward to updates for this story. Are you planning on writing anything else after this?
*happy sigh* Yeah! Things are right between Matt and Kris again. I have this huge grin on my face right now, I love when happy things happen. Especially for Kris, she really deserves someone who will love her and treat her with respect. It's nice not to be mad at Matt anymore...he's one of my favorite male characters. I really did have faith things were going to work out between the two, but you had me a little worried with the previous two chapters. I think you did a great job showing Kris's breaking point with Blake all the way to her going through the healing process. I feel like she really developed as a character throughout the story. And she really seemed to learn from what was going on around her in the story. Okay I have to tell you, I had a really, really long week of school this week, and this chapter really brightened my evening. Which is good because I have work tomorrow. I can't believe there's only one more chapter of this story left. I'm going to miss it so much. I always look forward to updates for this story. Are you planning on writing anything else after this?
8/26/2005 c1 
16RuathaWehrling
Hello! Let's take a look at this story. I'll comment as I read.
1.) Whoa! Short first chapter! :)
2.) "This girl had been the last thing the animal had seen" - There's something odd sounding about this. As if the horse is the important character, and "the girl" isn't even important enough to get a name or description. If that's intentional, cool, but if you're not trying to raise suspense or something for some good reason, you might want to rephrase it, because it really does sound strange.
3.) "But in that girls eyes" - "girl's".
4.) "the only thing that kept her hanging on." - Do you mean "had kept her", perhaps? I haven't read enough of her background to know, but I suspect you might.
5.) "the pain of loosing the things" - "losing".
6.) "She’d shone no sign " - "shown"
Interesting, and yet... Until the last three paragraphs, I can't bring myself to feel any emotion about her. Naming her would help. I would make her more real - more human. Is there any reason you avoided it?
Also, watch out for your spelling. Both words you spelled wrong ARE real words... but they don't mean what you meant them to mean! Be careful about that.
I need to run now, but I'll be back another day. Thanks, -Ruatha
16RuathaWehrlingHello! Let's take a look at this story. I'll comment as I read.
1.) Whoa! Short first chapter! :)
2.) "This girl had been the last thing the animal had seen" - There's something odd sounding about this. As if the horse is the important character, and "the girl" isn't even important enough to get a name or description. If that's intentional, cool, but if you're not trying to raise suspense or something for some good reason, you might want to rephrase it, because it really does sound strange.
3.) "But in that girls eyes" - "girl's".
4.) "the only thing that kept her hanging on." - Do you mean "had kept her", perhaps? I haven't read enough of her background to know, but I suspect you might.
5.) "the pain of loosing the things" - "losing".
6.) "She’d shone no sign " - "shown"
Interesting, and yet... Until the last three paragraphs, I can't bring myself to feel any emotion about her. Naming her would help. I would make her more real - more human. Is there any reason you avoided it?
Also, watch out for your spelling. Both words you spelled wrong ARE real words... but they don't mean what you meant them to mean! Be careful about that.
I need to run now, but I'll be back another day. Thanks, -Ruatha
8/25/2005 c25 WesternChick
a.k.a Mary girl dont you dare start not updating or ill kick yours ass!...sequal! i smell the word sqequal...oops did i say that? yes another story or more chapters
a.k.a Mary girl dont you dare start not updating or ill kick yours ass!...sequal! i smell the word sqequal...oops did i say that? yes another story or more chapters
8/25/2005 c25 ieatpaste
I got on and I had 3 chapters this time. WOOHOO! I love this story.
I got on and I had 3 chapters this time. WOOHOO! I love this story.
8/25/2005 c25 10JojoAnn
I just broke out into a huge smile all the way from "I love you." to the end of the chapter. Whe!
10JojoAnnI just broke out into a huge smile all the way from "I love you." to the end of the chapter. Whe!
8/15/2005 c3 11Lya S
Ouch. Sorry to be reading this so slowly.
Anyway, powerful chapter. I was really scared for a moment there - Blake, such an idiot!
Again, I really love this dark style of yours. :)
11Lya SOuch. Sorry to be reading this so slowly.
Anyway, powerful chapter. I was really scared for a moment there - Blake, such an idiot!
Again, I really love this dark style of yours. :)
8/14/2005 c24 10Blackrose4724
O good chapter, I was begining to go through withdrawel cuz you didn't update =P
10Blackrose4724O good chapter, I was begining to go through withdrawel cuz you didn't update =P
8/14/2005 c24 1texas-jumper
Awesome chapter!
This is Kat, by the way. I finally got an account... it's way easier to keep track of everything...lol. I'm rambling...
1texas-jumperAwesome chapter!
This is Kat, by the way. I finally got an account... it's way easier to keep track of everything...lol. I'm rambling...
8/12/2005 c23 lemjo
Oh no! I can't believe Matt was with another girl. That took me totally by surprise! Of course, I'm really hoping that things aren't the way they seem...just because Lydia was hanging on to Matt's arm, doesn't mean Matt's interested in her, right? I feel so bad for Kris. She drove all the way back looking forward to seeing him, and that's what she had to come back to. I hope Matt considers the fact that Kris came back right away, while evil Lydia stayed gone for who knows how long! I'm glad Kris still seemed happy to be back, despite what happened. If she stays in town, she might still have a chance to catch Matt's attention. Plus, she's made some really supportive friends. Everybody needs those. You're right, the last chapter did help explain Christina's reasons for hooking up with Blake. The more I think about it, the more I realize that being upset can make you do things you normally wouldn't. I'm sure Blake (in his own way) was somebody who understood the way she felt about Kris being gone. It's easy to form bonds with somebody who feels the same way you do. I'm so mad at Matt right now, but I hope he'll be able to redeem himself in future chapters. Ah! I sound like your characters are actual people. I tend to get really involved in the stories I read. Anyway, I can't wait to read more. I complain about Matt and Lydia, but I really love plot twists like that as long as their still believable, which yours was. Twists keep stories fun and engaging. Keep up the great writing!
Oh no! I can't believe Matt was with another girl. That took me totally by surprise! Of course, I'm really hoping that things aren't the way they seem...just because Lydia was hanging on to Matt's arm, doesn't mean Matt's interested in her, right? I feel so bad for Kris. She drove all the way back looking forward to seeing him, and that's what she had to come back to. I hope Matt considers the fact that Kris came back right away, while evil Lydia stayed gone for who knows how long! I'm glad Kris still seemed happy to be back, despite what happened. If she stays in town, she might still have a chance to catch Matt's attention. Plus, she's made some really supportive friends. Everybody needs those. You're right, the last chapter did help explain Christina's reasons for hooking up with Blake. The more I think about it, the more I realize that being upset can make you do things you normally wouldn't. I'm sure Blake (in his own way) was somebody who understood the way she felt about Kris being gone. It's easy to form bonds with somebody who feels the same way you do. I'm so mad at Matt right now, but I hope he'll be able to redeem himself in future chapters. Ah! I sound like your characters are actual people. I tend to get really involved in the stories I read. Anyway, I can't wait to read more. I complain about Matt and Lydia, but I really love plot twists like that as long as their still believable, which yours was. Twists keep stories fun and engaging. Keep up the great writing!
8/9/2005 c23 Kat
Darnit. I knew that was gonna happen. Mreh... Kris needs a hug... and Lydia needs to get the heck outta there... she doesn't deserve Matt
Darnit. I knew that was gonna happen. Mreh... Kris needs a hug... and Lydia needs to get the heck outta there... she doesn't deserve Matt