for Bedtime Story7/13/2005 c1 
14aaidenkae
AW! this was so cute. and how true. children are so wise at times. thank you for reviewing my story. i really appreciate it. *smiles* i really really love it when people tell me what they feel about my work. Thank you. God Bless.-aaidenkae
14aaidenkaeAW! this was so cute. and how true. children are so wise at times. thank you for reviewing my story. i really appreciate it. *smiles* i really really love it when people tell me what they feel about my work. Thank you. God Bless.-aaidenkae
7/12/2005 c1 6Gilee7
Way too short. I wasn't ready for this to be over. All of your stuff seems to be incredibly short. Most of this I liked. I noticed in the beginning a couple times, you used past-tense when everything else is in the present, and that interrupts the natural flow. I like the dialogue, and what was said, but it totally didn't seem like a little girl talking. That's one smart litle girl evidently. Also, at the end, I was a bit confused as to who is saying what. It isn't really clear. I mean the last two lines are, but the few before that aren't. You need to make that much more clear, tell us who is saying what. Overall though, cool idea, I liked it. Needs to be polished a bit more, and I'd like for it to be longer, so that you throw in a little more emotion and stuff into the mix.
6Gilee7Way too short. I wasn't ready for this to be over. All of your stuff seems to be incredibly short. Most of this I liked. I noticed in the beginning a couple times, you used past-tense when everything else is in the present, and that interrupts the natural flow. I like the dialogue, and what was said, but it totally didn't seem like a little girl talking. That's one smart litle girl evidently. Also, at the end, I was a bit confused as to who is saying what. It isn't really clear. I mean the last two lines are, but the few before that aren't. You need to make that much more clear, tell us who is saying what. Overall though, cool idea, I liked it. Needs to be polished a bit more, and I'd like for it to be longer, so that you throw in a little more emotion and stuff into the mix.
7/20/2004 c1 Small Treasures
This is is very sweet and really true! Please keep it up and thanks for reviewing "Rainbow"!
This is is very sweet and really true! Please keep it up and thanks for reviewing "Rainbow"!