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4/23/2010 c26 candykillz
Cliche but I like it. I immensely enjoyed reading this. The story is cute! I just love how Raven

got her happy ending with Ethan.
4/16/2010 c4 Guest
you will probably want to retype this chapter or do something else. if people like me read, i will just give up on the story rather than try and read a big, long paragraph.
3/27/2010 c5 Clazziquai Project
I think this story had a lot of potential, but the lack of spacing/paragraphs killed it. I just could not continue on after the first few chapters.
3/3/2010 c26 DA-chen1
Woah, really cute story!

I like it.

2/24/2010 c26 5eaststar
Oh wow this was written three years ago! Well er great job! I really enjoyed the story =)
1/19/2010 c5 reader
Hon, you need some spacings or else nobody will want to read your story.
1/19/2010 c1 reader
1/15/2010 c26 ghurl00
Awesome story. But I reckon it's a bit rushed. A bit more drama would be nice. Anyway, well done!=)
1/15/2010 c1 1loveSZbrownie
Ok first of all. The plot idea is not very new, but i was interested to see this version. However at about the third chapter or so, i couldn't read on. Your chapter includes only one paragraph. That makes it harder for the reader as a large body of work makes it hard to focus. It seems as though you were just hurrying to get each chapter out. Take your time. Each chapter you submit should be edited and considered before you publish it.

Next, i understand that you are impatient to get to the 'good' part of the story where the girl is hot and everyone is jealous, but really, you should take the time to develop her change. It appears that you just quickly mentioned that her physical appearance changed completely and she became confident. This does not happen in real life. yes fictionpress is for stories that may or may not happen in real life, but please keep a touch of reality in your story. i'm not saying your story is bad, but i think you might be a lot happier with it if you went back, planned and edited the story.
10/12/2009 c26 2Lady of Confusion
Cool story.
10/9/2009 c8 P
are you 2 lazy to put some dang spaces between these huge chunks of test? I can't read a freaking thing!
8/16/2009 c26 6ithinkyourgay
6/24/2009 c7 4Jaden Ink
i wish it wasn't all bunched together it makes it very hard to read
6/9/2009 c26 drummercc
hi, i read this and thought it was great. there was a couple of spelling errors but nothing too noticable. i just thought i should warn you that a lot of authors i like have been complaining of plagarism and this story is really good so beware of copycats. it's unfortunate but true.
5/29/2009 c26 12VTDark
yay! finished it! haha! nice story! :)
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