for Victims of the Grim4/1/2006 c5 Alexx007
Confused? Maybe just a little. Hate you? Never. You've definately got me interested in where exactly this is going...but, as you wish, i'll give you my two cent's worth instead of a mere "update again!" and "the story's really good-continue!" okay. first off. a couple questions that i've been wondering the answers to. Time frame of your story. i dont think you addressed it, and i was just wondering how far/if at all in the future this is taking place and what things have happened to make the future/present as it is in your story. If you were planning on addressing this later, disregard this, please. Next. I'm probably not paying attention and there's going to be some fantastically important point to it later on, but is all the banter between Kim, Elan, and Damon? It makes for nice characterization of each of them (not to mention makes them seem like siblings) but there are other ways to do that and get the same details across about them. Just wondering. Again, this is your story and feel free to ignore it and do as you please. There seem to be genetic mutations among all of them (and the way that they're treated infers that they're more animal than human) but they're really not human at all? That's very interesting and can/will either make or break your story. You probably know how it is. A well thought out sci-fi bit like that makes it completely believeable and one small flaw blows the whole thing. The planning and detail level so far is excellent, but none the less. Just my thoughts on the whole thing, so take it as you will. Hmm. That's all I can think of off the top of my head. Best of luck and happy writing. Alexx. Oh. Of the short story preview you put up. I'm interested. Sounds like a great idea you (and who-ever else) have. Cant wait. Alexx.
Confused? Maybe just a little. Hate you? Never. You've definately got me interested in where exactly this is going...but, as you wish, i'll give you my two cent's worth instead of a mere "update again!" and "the story's really good-continue!" okay. first off. a couple questions that i've been wondering the answers to. Time frame of your story. i dont think you addressed it, and i was just wondering how far/if at all in the future this is taking place and what things have happened to make the future/present as it is in your story. If you were planning on addressing this later, disregard this, please. Next. I'm probably not paying attention and there's going to be some fantastically important point to it later on, but is all the banter between Kim, Elan, and Damon? It makes for nice characterization of each of them (not to mention makes them seem like siblings) but there are other ways to do that and get the same details across about them. Just wondering. Again, this is your story and feel free to ignore it and do as you please. There seem to be genetic mutations among all of them (and the way that they're treated infers that they're more animal than human) but they're really not human at all? That's very interesting and can/will either make or break your story. You probably know how it is. A well thought out sci-fi bit like that makes it completely believeable and one small flaw blows the whole thing. The planning and detail level so far is excellent, but none the less. Just my thoughts on the whole thing, so take it as you will. Hmm. That's all I can think of off the top of my head. Best of luck and happy writing. Alexx. Oh. Of the short story preview you put up. I'm interested. Sounds like a great idea you (and who-ever else) have. Cant wait. Alexx.
6/24/2005 c5 Silver
im not bothering to sign in...too tired. but hey, i like the idea at the end. send me the rest, okay?~Silver
im not bothering to sign in...too tired. but hey, i like the idea at the end. send me the rest, okay?~Silver
5/31/2005 c5 
8voice.writer
FINALLY! YOU UPDATED! wo
wow. i was NOT expecting that twist. but i'm just a bit confuzzled with the italicized line. does she say this, or is it a newspaper, or what?
other than that, this is awesome! i love the conversation between lion and siamese. KEEP WRITING!
~the midnight's magic~
8voice.writerFINALLY! YOU UPDATED! wo
wow. i was NOT expecting that twist. but i'm just a bit confuzzled with the italicized line. does she say this, or is it a newspaper, or what?
other than that, this is awesome! i love the conversation between lion and siamese. KEEP WRITING!
~the midnight's magic~
1/1/2005 c2 EternitiesAngel
i LOVE this story so far. i love the detectives all put together. They just make me laugh. I really like how you're able to paint the world with the amount of detail you put into this.
i LOVE this story so far. i love the detectives all put together. They just make me laugh. I really like how you're able to paint the world with the amount of detail you put into this.
12/16/2004 c4 8voice.writer
THIS IS SO GOD! aww...i love the last sentence! and Kassia is SUCH a good name for Black Jaguar. she's so CUTE, i just can't help myself! *hugs kassia* i know, i'm not supposed to think she's cute, i'm supposd to think she's dark and...well...you know, you're the author, duh! *smacks forehead*
i have to go do my english. cya around, ttfn!
UPDATE!
~the midnight's magic~
8voice.writerTHIS IS SO GOD! aww...i love the last sentence! and Kassia is SUCH a good name for Black Jaguar. she's so CUTE, i just can't help myself! *hugs kassia* i know, i'm not supposed to think she's cute, i'm supposd to think she's dark and...well...you know, you're the author, duh! *smacks forehead*
i have to go do my english. cya around, ttfn!
UPDATE!
~the midnight's magic~
12/10/2004 c3 Theanyx
Hee! You know I luv this story, but I thought I'd review it cuz I'm bored and have no life. Cya in skul!
Hee! You know I luv this story, but I thought I'd review it cuz I'm bored and have no life. Cya in skul!
10/11/2004 c3 Caro
hi! even though your sitting next to me reading this and my horrible typing skillage. kind of like skillet, but not really. awesome story, even though you already told me all that you know of the story so far. and i want credit for the elevator thing! that is so me, being creeped of elevators and such. theres no 'y' in such, or 'k' either, my bad...yeah. anyway, that was really good, and i'm ganna stop now before you compy yells at me for typos...to many typos! there is no '7' in anyway! yeah...
Nodjmet: ROTFL! ...i'm doing this mentally...
hi! even though your sitting next to me reading this and my horrible typing skillage. kind of like skillet, but not really. awesome story, even though you already told me all that you know of the story so far. and i want credit for the elevator thing! that is so me, being creeped of elevators and such. theres no 'y' in such, or 'k' either, my bad...yeah. anyway, that was really good, and i'm ganna stop now before you compy yells at me for typos...to many typos! there is no '7' in anyway! yeah...
Nodjmet: ROTFL! ...i'm doing this mentally...
9/19/2004 c2 13SilverGryphin
Lovely! I love Elan's character. He's hillarious. Sort of reminds me of me...*trips* This was really good! And its comic relief, not comedy relief. ^.^
13SilverGryphinLovely! I love Elan's character. He's hillarious. Sort of reminds me of me...*trips* This was really good! And its comic relief, not comedy relief. ^.^
9/16/2004 c1 SilverGryphin
nice work! im waiting for the next chapter, so hurry up. instead of saying "not fancy in any way" maybe you could try using one good adjective, like unadorned. it makes it flow better. its also in a book for things to not do when writing a novel. or just a story. anyhow, this was great!
nice work! im waiting for the next chapter, so hurry up. instead of saying "not fancy in any way" maybe you could try using one good adjective, like unadorned. it makes it flow better. its also in a book for things to not do when writing a novel. or just a story. anyhow, this was great!