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for Littina, Princess of the Fairy Realms

5/13/2006 c1 3Ballerina with a Gun

Just a suggestion: try reformatting your story; save it as a .html so that the paragraphs are more spaced. Just a suggestion :)

I like your names-they're unique. I like Litti. She seems like an interesting character, as do they all. I wonder how you'll develop them...

Add little more flowery description. Readers love detail!

This looks like an intiguing story-I hope you plan on continuing someday...
8/9/2005 c1 2temblance
You might want to start new paragraphs every time a new person speaks, so this is easier to read. Otherwise, it was an interesting beginning. Did you say how old Litti was? She is obviously old enough to understand taxes, but I'm not sure I caught the exact age.
6/6/2005 c1 16Islandbreeze
Interesting start, it was a little confusing just because of the formatting, but I'd read more, interesting names too. Update please
7/27/2004 c1 36FantasyWriter923
I think this story is really good. I'm wondering what is going to happen next. Please write more!

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