for Ghost Horizon9/12/2005 c6 
1Lady-Hitokiri
Wow, I'm so glad that they were able to escape from there and beat Forced Encounter. Like I said before, I'm sad to see this story end, but it was great and well written. I'm glad to say that I couldn't think of anything for you to change in this story. I liked every minute of it. ^_^I'll be moving on to your new story now. I'm excited about that too. I'll still get the next chapter of Ebbarria out before the 15th, although I think I'll be cutting it close. ^^; *sigh* Whatever.
1Lady-HitokiriWow, I'm so glad that they were able to escape from there and beat Forced Encounter. Like I said before, I'm sad to see this story end, but it was great and well written. I'm glad to say that I couldn't think of anything for you to change in this story. I liked every minute of it. ^_^I'll be moving on to your new story now. I'm excited about that too. I'll still get the next chapter of Ebbarria out before the 15th, although I think I'll be cutting it close. ^^; *sigh* Whatever.
9/12/2005 c5 Lady-Hitokiri
Ghost seems to be willing to do anything to find out his past, even intimidating Michelle.Buried Twice seems like a cool opponent. As always, I love the characters and the fight descriptions.Whoa. The end of this chapter is chilling. This seems like they'll be able to figure out some more stuff. But who's following them? So mysterious...I'll have to read on to find out!Aw, only one chapter left? That stinks. This is a really good story and I don't want it to end...
Ghost seems to be willing to do anything to find out his past, even intimidating Michelle.Buried Twice seems like a cool opponent. As always, I love the characters and the fight descriptions.Whoa. The end of this chapter is chilling. This seems like they'll be able to figure out some more stuff. But who's following them? So mysterious...I'll have to read on to find out!Aw, only one chapter left? That stinks. This is a really good story and I don't want it to end...
9/6/2005 c4 Lady-Hitokiri
Great job with this chapter. It seems like things are becoming more clear for Ghost now, like about his past and the connections he has with the people he knows. Nice battle description at the end. Oh, and I think there might be something going on with Ghost, or Stanley :P, and Julie. Heh heh. She's probably like the first real friend that Ghost has ever made. Yep...so overall, nice progression of the story in this chapter. It didn't drag, but it didn't go too fast, which was good.
Ugh. I've been so overwhelmed with work that it isn't even funny. I'm barely 1/3 of the way done with the next chapter of Ebbarria. I want to get it up soon, but I'm finding that I don't have much time to do anything, with barely any free time. Hopefully I can get up in the next few days. And hopefully I can read your fics more as well.
Whoa- and you got your new story up! I didn't even realize it. That's cool. :)I'll have to read it when I finish this story of course. I can't wait!
Great job with this chapter. It seems like things are becoming more clear for Ghost now, like about his past and the connections he has with the people he knows. Nice battle description at the end. Oh, and I think there might be something going on with Ghost, or Stanley :P, and Julie. Heh heh. She's probably like the first real friend that Ghost has ever made. Yep...so overall, nice progression of the story in this chapter. It didn't drag, but it didn't go too fast, which was good.
Ugh. I've been so overwhelmed with work that it isn't even funny. I'm barely 1/3 of the way done with the next chapter of Ebbarria. I want to get it up soon, but I'm finding that I don't have much time to do anything, with barely any free time. Hopefully I can get up in the next few days. And hopefully I can read your fics more as well.
Whoa- and you got your new story up! I didn't even realize it. That's cool. :)I'll have to read it when I finish this story of course. I can't wait!
9/2/2005 c3 Lady-Hitokiri
Another great chapter. Wow, I'm finding myself liking this a bit more than The Anthill Case, which was an amazing story. It's kind of strange. But anyway, I'm wondering where this story will end up. The premature decomposing of that one opponent makes me afraid of what might be in store for Ghost. I liked the little flashback he had for a second during the watershow. It helps remind me of his past and that he isn't like a regular person.It sure seems like Ghost has a lot to learn. He hasn't seen much of the outside/real world and even things like a peaceful and colorful crowd are strange to him. I like that though- it's intriguing. Heh heh...Stanley...that was funny. I agree though. I'm sure you wouldn't want to meet someone with the name Ghost. :P
Another great chapter. Wow, I'm finding myself liking this a bit more than The Anthill Case, which was an amazing story. It's kind of strange. But anyway, I'm wondering where this story will end up. The premature decomposing of that one opponent makes me afraid of what might be in store for Ghost. I liked the little flashback he had for a second during the watershow. It helps remind me of his past and that he isn't like a regular person.It sure seems like Ghost has a lot to learn. He hasn't seen much of the outside/real world and even things like a peaceful and colorful crowd are strange to him. I like that though- it's intriguing. Heh heh...Stanley...that was funny. I agree though. I'm sure you wouldn't want to meet someone with the name Ghost. :P
8/29/2005 c2 Lady-Hitokiri
Wow, I don't think I would've guessed that that was where Ghost would end up. And now we have the typical greedy manager too.
This chapter was a nice read. I liked how you talked about Ghost's temper. It's nice to have a little bit of the character's personality so that the reader can understand why the characters do what they do. And it's interesting to see that Ghost ended up using his abilities to fight, and being gawked at like an animal. Good, good...
Mayhem Webber is a neat mutant too. It'd be interesting if someone could draw him, as well as Ghost Horizon. I'm sure they'd be cool pics. I'd try to draw them myself, but I'd probably get it all wrong. XD
Well, I'll be reading the next chapter shortly. I'm just about to start on Ch 13 of Ebbarria, since I finished the outline for that chapter. School is a pain, but I'll make time for everything.
Wow, I don't think I would've guessed that that was where Ghost would end up. And now we have the typical greedy manager too.
This chapter was a nice read. I liked how you talked about Ghost's temper. It's nice to have a little bit of the character's personality so that the reader can understand why the characters do what they do. And it's interesting to see that Ghost ended up using his abilities to fight, and being gawked at like an animal. Good, good...
Mayhem Webber is a neat mutant too. It'd be interesting if someone could draw him, as well as Ghost Horizon. I'm sure they'd be cool pics. I'd try to draw them myself, but I'd probably get it all wrong. XD
Well, I'll be reading the next chapter shortly. I'm just about to start on Ch 13 of Ebbarria, since I finished the outline for that chapter. School is a pain, but I'll make time for everything.
8/28/2005 c1 Lady-Hitokiri
I think I said I was going to check out your other story, but I decided to go and read this one first. I know it's a short prologue, but a lot was packed into it.
I particulaly liked this line a lot:"These mutations became new races, unity across the old racial borders, racism starting over the new ones."
I'm really fascinated by this. I like the whole concept of it and how the mutations occurred in some and not others. And this seemed to have a little more description, which as you know, I tend to enjoy thoroughly. Plus, you introduced the main character in a unique way.This story is starting off well and I'm anxious to read on. Great job.
I think I said I was going to check out your other story, but I decided to go and read this one first. I know it's a short prologue, but a lot was packed into it.
I particulaly liked this line a lot:"These mutations became new races, unity across the old racial borders, racism starting over the new ones."
I'm really fascinated by this. I like the whole concept of it and how the mutations occurred in some and not others. And this seemed to have a little more description, which as you know, I tend to enjoy thoroughly. Plus, you introduced the main character in a unique way.This story is starting off well and I'm anxious to read on. Great job.
8/12/2005 c6 2Cirex
And so it ends. You ever think of continuing this one? It's got potential.
Anyway, keep it up. I'll now move on to Nuroch Thawned, since they're both in the same universe.
2CirexAnd so it ends. You ever think of continuing this one? It's got potential.
Anyway, keep it up. I'll now move on to Nuroch Thawned, since they're both in the same universe.
8/8/2005 c5 Cirex
Good chapter! Confrontation #1 is done, and I'm looking forward to #2, against Encounter.
Noticed a couple of things... spelling, missing words in sentences. Nothing too much... let me know if you want me to be more specific :P.
Dusk Woods sounds intriguing :).
Good chapter! Confrontation #1 is done, and I'm looking forward to #2, against Encounter.
Noticed a couple of things... spelling, missing words in sentences. Nothing too much... let me know if you want me to be more specific :P.
Dusk Woods sounds intriguing :).
8/8/2005 c4 Cirex
Hmm I wonder what Encounter and Butcher are looking for... my guess is that they see Ghost as a threat, them being high up in the gladitorial rankings (at least Encounter is).
I like the dialogue between Lenny and Ghost.
Hmm I wonder what Encounter and Butcher are looking for... my guess is that they see Ghost as a threat, them being high up in the gladitorial rankings (at least Encounter is).
I like the dialogue between Lenny and Ghost.
8/2/2005 c3 Cirex
Interesting chapter, I'm curious what will come out of it. Anyway, I enjoyed the chapter. Don't think there was anything major I noticed that you might change, so credit to you.
Keep it up!
Interesting chapter, I'm curious what will come out of it. Anyway, I enjoyed the chapter. Don't think there was anything major I noticed that you might change, so credit to you.
Keep it up!
8/1/2005 c1 83Adonia Chesser
I'm copletely surprised, this was great beyond doubt, and I couldn't see anything wrong except a few grammer errors. However, it was still a great story.
83Adonia ChesserI'm copletely surprised, this was great beyond doubt, and I couldn't see anything wrong except a few grammer errors. However, it was still a great story.
6/24/2005 c2 2Cirex
Good chapter. You do a great job of describing the battles between Ghost and his opponents; I enjoyed reading them. Also, I like the dialogue a lot. There's nothing like good trash talking :P.
Alright, critique...
I know it's been mentioned b4, but... watch your 'it's' :P.
I didn't see many typos or anything like that, so good job. :) I'll read more in a bit.
2CirexGood chapter. You do a great job of describing the battles between Ghost and his opponents; I enjoyed reading them. Also, I like the dialogue a lot. There's nothing like good trash talking :P.
Alright, critique...
I know it's been mentioned b4, but... watch your 'it's' :P.
I didn't see many typos or anything like that, so good job. :) I'll read more in a bit.
6/23/2005 c1 Cirex
Hey there, I saw your name on a few of my friend's fave's and thought I'd check you out. And I'm glad I did! Nice opening prologue, it's intriguing with all the mutants. Maybe watch how much info you're putting in here about the different kinds of mutants: it slows the pace a bit. Obviously, I haven't read that far, so perhaps its purpose is presented later.Anyway, sounds like you've done your share of research on this one. I'm interested, and will continue reading.
Xecenda
P.S. If you find the time, could you review a chapter or two in my story? I've only got one; it's semi-long :P, but even a review of the intro would be appreciated :) Thanks.
Hey there, I saw your name on a few of my friend's fave's and thought I'd check you out. And I'm glad I did! Nice opening prologue, it's intriguing with all the mutants. Maybe watch how much info you're putting in here about the different kinds of mutants: it slows the pace a bit. Obviously, I haven't read that far, so perhaps its purpose is presented later.Anyway, sounds like you've done your share of research on this one. I'm interested, and will continue reading.
Xecenda
P.S. If you find the time, could you review a chapter or two in my story? I've only got one; it's semi-long :P, but even a review of the intro would be appreciated :) Thanks.
6/11/2005 c6 7Alankria
An interesting story. Again, as with 'Compulsion', I feel it needs a little development in places. For example, you mentioned the decomposing guy but I wasn't sure how that fit into the plot. But as it stands, it's a good read with a good plot. Keep writing.
7AlankriaAn interesting story. Again, as with 'Compulsion', I feel it needs a little development in places. For example, you mentioned the decomposing guy but I wasn't sure how that fit into the plot. But as it stands, it's a good read with a good plot. Keep writing.
6/11/2005 c4 Alankria
Revelations abound. I continue to be intrigued.
One thing that bugged me: '...Ghost asked, silently, but loud enough for the metal claw armed Slitthroat to hear.' I think what you mean is that Ghost asked almost silently, rather than silently- if he was truly silent, how would Slitthroat hear?
Other than that, good stuff.
Revelations abound. I continue to be intrigued.
One thing that bugged me: '...Ghost asked, silently, but loud enough for the metal claw armed Slitthroat to hear.' I think what you mean is that Ghost asked almost silently, rather than silently- if he was truly silent, how would Slitthroat hear?
Other than that, good stuff.