for In My Head8/6/2005 c1 FrozenKiwi
Hmm... this is awesome, but I would suggest dividing it into paragraphs and making it a story. It's very chilling! A lovely and cold relflection.
Hmm... this is awesome, but I would suggest dividing it into paragraphs and making it a story. It's very chilling! A lovely and cold relflection.
8/4/2005 c1 
64Tatsu the Blade Star
Hmm..., yep you definately need a good voice to balance out the bad? There must be something there, because you are still alive, Right Maybe you just are focusing on the bad too much.Maybe your good voice has larangitis (Or however you spell it...) Whatever.
NEVER GIVE UP! THERE IS A SILVER LINING! ...
(Maybe I am your good voice :P )
64Tatsu the Blade StarHmm..., yep you definately need a good voice to balance out the bad? There must be something there, because you are still alive, Right Maybe you just are focusing on the bad too much.Maybe your good voice has larangitis (Or however you spell it...) Whatever.
NEVER GIVE UP! THERE IS A SILVER LINING! ...
(Maybe I am your good voice :P )
3/25/2005 c1 25Munchin
Wow.. this is I don´t know.. my voacabulary .. is what is stopping me from expressing myself. This is wonderful.. true.. fresh.. selfless.. open.. good
25MunchinWow.. this is I don´t know.. my voacabulary .. is what is stopping me from expressing myself. This is wonderful.. true.. fresh.. selfless.. open.. good
8/4/2004 c1 11Locomotive Breath
hm, you express emotion very well in this, but i want to point out a few problems.
in the beginning of the poem, the rhyming is overly forced which interupts the flow of the poem. the second half you drop the forced rhyming which is good, but it gets very sentence-y and stroy form.
but overall the message was clear and written well, even though i may not agree with it.
11Locomotive Breathhm, you express emotion very well in this, but i want to point out a few problems.
in the beginning of the poem, the rhyming is overly forced which interupts the flow of the poem. the second half you drop the forced rhyming which is good, but it gets very sentence-y and stroy form.
but overall the message was clear and written well, even though i may not agree with it.
8/4/2004 c1 61A.D Williams
I adore the self-pressure. The way you drew your feelings across is great.
-Amber
61A.D WilliamsI adore the self-pressure. The way you drew your feelings across is great.
-Amber
8/4/2004 c1 Anime Freakizoid
wow...i'm shocked! very high emotions and harse words, sounds like a friend of mine who kind of thinks the same. but still your poems are very descriptive and touching!
-anime freakizoid X^_^X
wow...i'm shocked! very high emotions and harse words, sounds like a friend of mine who kind of thinks the same. but still your poems are very descriptive and touching!
-anime freakizoid X^_^X
8/4/2004 c1 58ShadesofBlue842
wow...that reallt really touched my soul, you have written a poem that is just like me, you see i feel this way often and i also seem to have another voice in my head i call him andrew, he comes all day persistently hating on me and trying to get me not to eat etc, its interesting
~shadesofblue~
58ShadesofBlue842wow...that reallt really touched my soul, you have written a poem that is just like me, you see i feel this way often and i also seem to have another voice in my head i call him andrew, he comes all day persistently hating on me and trying to get me not to eat etc, its interesting
~shadesofblue~
8/4/2004 c1 suzieque2
I used to think that way constantly... evn to the point of attempting suicide. I can relate a lot.
I used to think that way constantly... evn to the point of attempting suicide. I can relate a lot.