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for Overseer of Time

4/3/2007 c1 1Elle Morgen
Well, I can see you were definately upset! But it feels to me more like an apathetic story than angry one. I liked soem of the words and phrases you used, like "rag doll" and "the Earth is strong." You might consider expounding on these. In this poem, gotta watch out for tense changes: "giving me..." "time had.." "can strike back..." -you got the past tense, and present, etc. Stay consistent. But overall, I like your work.
3/16/2006 c1 nofaceme
I think that the begining is a little cliche, just becaus there's a lot of that subject floating around. I also didn't like that it states "i know more than you". the actual body of the poem isn't too shody. I think that it could use some work, but I do like to look at things from a humanistic point of view. This does that well. So just keep working on this! Much luckkiersten
3/16/2006 c1 19TW HEART
Good but still not the best

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