Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Practice

4/2/2005 c1 37Bukowski Is
You seem to be one of those people who has nothing better to do than criticize people's spelling and grammer because you don't have a real argument against their case. Do you get off on making people dislike you, slightly? I could do the same to you, but I'm not one of those people. On top of that, i do have an argument against this haiku. While you adhere well to the form, you have yet to master the art of content. I believe that the haiku beginning with "Andy smokes" is very lovely.

I reccomend that, in reviews, you stop arguing based on SMALL grammar and spelling mistakes and pay more attention to the details in the text. Going by your review on my essay, you are one of those people who jump to conclusions, not on religion but by assuming that the way that you interpreted the words is what is said in the text. Read it twice and then review. While you make a couple of points that are worth seeing, you did not pay enough attention to realize that my essay WAS separated into paragraphs, the indents, however, did not show up due to the fact that fiction press has not worked out every miniscule bug in formatting. If this review is not in paragraphs, it is not my fault. A flaw of the computer, a flaw of man.
2/5/2005 c1 72linaeve
nice imagery. certainly not traditionally nature-central, though that doesn't detract at all from the detachedish flow of your haiku.

i enjoyed it.

-lin
11/22/2004 c1 1T Jenkins
These are good. also, I just wanted to thank you for reviewing my essay and giving me some helpful hints. I did a lot more research on it and I revised it. Please come look at it again. It will be up in a few minutes. Your arguments were fair and mine...well... weren't. so I fixed that. thanks for the critisim. I'm not saying youll like it any more, but I have made my arguments more valid. Please come check it out.

Thanks again!

Wings
8/30/2004 c1 33Tiefling
Trinity in Ice- Nope, there's no deep and meaningful message to these. I wrote them to get myself writing again when I hadn't in a while.
Haiku are traditionally about the world around you- these are no exception. They're about what was happening to me and around me when I wrote them.
'[my flatmate] Andy smokes outside. [His] footsteps on the verandah make the house vibrate'.
It's an old wooden house and when people walk on the verandah the vibrations can be felt through the whole place. Nothing more to it than that.
I'm not sure what you had trouble with about the rest of the haiku:
The first one's about my intention to write poems again after a break. The seconds about my being offered and accepting a cup of tea while I work. The third apparently you understood.
The fourth is about me drinking the tea (Russian Caravan's a variety of tea, in case you haven't heard of it), which by that point had cooled down enough to drink. The last one is about me being pleased at having finally written something. No clever wordplay or hidden messages, just practice.
Twenty-fourth Elder-Are you having fun there?
8/30/2004 c1 5Trinity in Ice
It is just me being stupid and not understanding, or do your poems just not make any sense. Andy smokes outside, footsteps on the verandah, make the house vibrate? Where's the message here? What does it say? I may not be Brittish or somebody with English as their native language, but I'm good enough to see this doesn't make any sense. Same goes for the other parts. When I started reading, I just thought I was missing some good jokes or brilliant playing with words, but I stepped out of that. Only the thing about procrastination I understand. I've been through that :). That is the one good thing. The rest: Keep practicing.
Ice
P.S. In case I did miss out on some brilliant playing with words and I'm just too stupid: Sorry! :P
8/17/2004 c1 1Twenty-fourth Elder
Keep practicing cause you suck!
8/10/2004 c1 Kashe
this is Kashe. I'm just to lazy to sign in!
anyway, these are funny and short. even thogh they are pratice i like them and they made me smile. :-)
thanks

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service