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for Where are you?

8/8/2004 c1 lauren
i like how you're trying to convince yourself that everything's okay and that you're better off alone anyway in this one. however, i would suggest that you try some freestyle writing. don't always force it to rhyme and it might flow smoother. also, Writing is different from talking. i dislike phrasese like 'but no!' and 'screwed with my head'. i don't know if that's just me or what but i think it shoudl be described more vividly

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