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9/10/2004 c1 4Neveah Snow
It's good. A little hard to read; there's too much going on in each sentance. Shorter sentances and fewer commas maybe?
8/13/2004 c1 3Forsakn
Yay yay! Another lovely piece of work. I think "a pile of blankets to wrap in" should be "a pile of blankets to wrap myself in". Might be just me. And, wow. Your imagery for this is wonderful! Keep up the good work!
-F

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