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for Fantasia's Destiny

12/10/2004 c1 81Ultimate Schuyler
The monkeys eyes stare at me, sparkling.

That's the translation you wanted. I got the inspiration from my dog's toy. This was... ok, and I'm certain that you were very inspired when you wrote it. I could feel it. The only advice I can give you on this, is to elaborate immensely. Also, choose words appropriately. You never read the word "smooch" in a dramatic story. This could've used immense elaboration, but, all in all, it was pretty nice. Thanks for reviewing Saru de Jaaku (which, by the way, means - ha ha - Evil by Monkey). I hope you review more of my stuff in the future, and that you update this soon and continue to write!
9/2/2004 c1 TrunkZy
YO!
This is really good! Very well written, but not very long. I look forward to sum more chapters!
Ja ne TrunkZy the Mighty!
8/24/2004 c1 12Moonlite Star
Great beginning. Action packed and builds up many questions. Keep writing!
8/18/2004 c1 Iceunia
this is pretty good, but u should work on describing things more.
thanks for reviewing my story!
8/13/2004 c1 3jadexoracle
hey dude! I found ur story! just leavin a review..its good..teach me how to do this pleeze?..thnx..-ciao

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