for My Mother3/17/2005 c1 
11Tigress015
Love it. It sounds like the relationship I have with my mom. We're really close. Without her I wouldn't be half of the person I am now.
11Tigress015Love it. It sounds like the relationship I have with my mom. We're really close. Without her I wouldn't be half of the person I am now.
1/22/2005 c1 6momijigirl
Wow! It's a beautiful poem! I really like it ^_^ (better than the poems I write!)
Um, you're Kako786's sister, right? She hasn't been online in a while and I'm worried about her. Is she okay? Did I upset her? My username on AIM is ichigofields and my name is Sara. If she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, please ask her to e-mail me saying so or to contact me. If that's the case, I won't bother you or her again. Thank you.
6momijigirlWow! It's a beautiful poem! I really like it ^_^ (better than the poems I write!)
Um, you're Kako786's sister, right? She hasn't been online in a while and I'm worried about her. Is she okay? Did I upset her? My username on AIM is ichigofields and my name is Sara. If she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, please ask her to e-mail me saying so or to contact me. If that's the case, I won't bother you or her again. Thank you.
1/7/2005 c1 82Twilit Exaggerance
Well wrote, but I feel the lines say too much. Sometimes, that is. Not always. Good words and iamgery, though, really like "blossoms like flowers in my heart"
82Twilit ExaggeranceWell wrote, but I feel the lines say too much. Sometimes, that is. Not always. Good words and iamgery, though, really like "blossoms like flowers in my heart"
12/6/2004 c1 11Lila Durbell
Mashallah!
Can I just say how much I love your detail? [Big fan of detail, right here!]
Allah to the max![Yeah, big fan of cheesey lines too. -points at self-]
Keep Writing!Peace be with you, mate!
11Lila DurbellMashallah!
Can I just say how much I love your detail? [Big fan of detail, right here!]
Allah to the max![Yeah, big fan of cheesey lines too. -points at self-]
Keep Writing!Peace be with you, mate!
9/26/2004 c1 4pandagirl11
A truly touching poem.
-
*stares shocked* You are undoubtedly the very very very first person I've met who also wants to become a pediatrician. *screams in joy* Ahh...and romance novels rock! Good job on your poem and keep writing! Come check out "The Search" if you have time and R&R! =)
4pandagirl11A truly touching poem.
-
*stares shocked* You are undoubtedly the very very very first person I've met who also wants to become a pediatrician. *screams in joy* Ahh...and romance novels rock! Good job on your poem and keep writing! Come check out "The Search" if you have time and R&R! =)
9/18/2004 c1 4Jarrad Silvermoon
FINALLY!
I can reveiw now. My browser wasn't letting me before. You know this poem is awesome and ive told you so. makes me think of my mother and is really powerful.
keep it up girl! you DO have talent
4Jarrad SilvermoonFINALLY!
I can reveiw now. My browser wasn't letting me before. You know this poem is awesome and ive told you so. makes me think of my mother and is really powerful.
keep it up girl! you DO have talent
8/19/2004 c1 18dancin-leprechaun
I really like this it's cute.
I esspecially like the end. You're right about the everlasting relationship that can nver be broken. The bond is always something that ties a mother and daughter together.
You should definately write more poems.
=)
18dancin-leprechaunI really like this it's cute.
I esspecially like the end. You're right about the everlasting relationship that can nver be broken. The bond is always something that ties a mother and daughter together.
You should definately write more poems.
=)
8/18/2004 c1 Enat
My bad, Bulbul!
So sorry. Hehehe. I guess I didn't read right when I read it yesterday. That sentence DOES make sense. Oops!
And now that you said that you intended to have such long sentences in the beginning, I won't say that you should consider breaking them up. But still, in my opinion, shorter ones would be better because long ones are hard for the readers to digest. (And being your evil self, you said that the digestion part is the readers' problem). Hehehe.
Oh well. Sorry for my previous review. I'm such an idiot sometimes. Maybe I wasn't reading right cuz I was online for 4 hours yesterday and then my eyes started burning. =S
Good poem, still.
-love, Sarah
My bad, Bulbul!
So sorry. Hehehe. I guess I didn't read right when I read it yesterday. That sentence DOES make sense. Oops!
And now that you said that you intended to have such long sentences in the beginning, I won't say that you should consider breaking them up. But still, in my opinion, shorter ones would be better because long ones are hard for the readers to digest. (And being your evil self, you said that the digestion part is the readers' problem). Hehehe.
Oh well. Sorry for my previous review. I'm such an idiot sometimes. Maybe I wasn't reading right cuz I was online for 4 hours yesterday and then my eyes started burning. =S
Good poem, still.
-love, Sarah
8/17/2004 c1 Dancing Waters
I'm guessing that you forgot to put it into poetry format! oops! hehehe. Or maybe you intended for it to be this way.
I love the last five lines.
They make you feel wawmr. They're realy touching.
But the line.. 'Relation between... she loves her' This line sort of is a fragment. It has a feeling of abruptness though it is a long line. Plus, you didn't quite get across what you wanted to in that line. Break it up. Break it up into two or three lines and finish what you were saying in it. Yes, I can feel it there, but all the readers won't be able to finish it up themselves. You have to write it out hunny.
Otherwise, it's a good poem. As I said, the last five lines are truly touching and heartfelt. (One of the reasons being that they are shorter and strong)
And also with the last line finishing with '...' gives it a sense of continuation; like it will never stop and will 'never be broken, no matter what...'
-love, enat
I'm guessing that you forgot to put it into poetry format! oops! hehehe. Or maybe you intended for it to be this way.
I love the last five lines.
They make you feel wawmr. They're realy touching.
But the line.. 'Relation between... she loves her' This line sort of is a fragment. It has a feeling of abruptness though it is a long line. Plus, you didn't quite get across what you wanted to in that line. Break it up. Break it up into two or three lines and finish what you were saying in it. Yes, I can feel it there, but all the readers won't be able to finish it up themselves. You have to write it out hunny.
Otherwise, it's a good poem. As I said, the last five lines are truly touching and heartfelt. (One of the reasons being that they are shorter and strong)
And also with the last line finishing with '...' gives it a sense of continuation; like it will never stop and will 'never be broken, no matter what...'
-love, enat