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for We Fall

6/5/2007 c1 13i am kelsey
i enjoyed that a lot. very intense, powerful descriptions.

it's nice to see some writing that's not as cliche.
9/3/2004 c1 28Tk.T
Very abstract...creative...unidentifiable style you have here. You made a few grammar/spelling errors and such. For instance, you wrote "Doctors" instead of "Doctor's" Please add the necessary apostrophe!
Happy writing!
8/21/2004 c1 Orinion
Description is extremely good, and your narrative has a really nice flow.
Just be careful with your use of commas, the first line of the narrative contains 4 and could have been split thus:
A solitary figure stood atop the cliff, wind streaming across the giant stone structure. The fair-skinned girl's long hazel hair streaming in the wind, floating out toward the ocean.
The only other place I noticed this 'problem' was in the line: 'The woman just stares, her heart racing...' etc. However it worked for that line for the sole purpose of conveying her anxiety and confusion.
Overall very good work, keep it up because I love to read what you write.
8/20/2004 c1 5PainkillerPie
That was interesting. It was good, but it could have been more detailed and developed. 8/10
8/20/2004 c1 Soul of Night
Excellent work as always. I really like your descriptions.
Good Work
8/19/2004 c1 bet
i really like it.

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