for Burning Dreams6/23/2005 c1 
40Nev Jee
Hey, thanks for all your reviews.
You definitely focused on creating an image here. Since I spend half my life at rock shows, I can say you captured the feeling and the incomprehensible magic that happens there. The adoration of imperfection, the suspension of natural superficiality and disbelief: You've got it all in there.
What you're lacking is a real climax. You've created a perfect image of silence, but you need to add something more to really have a beginning, middle, and end to this.
Maybe focus on the response from the crowd upon hearing the song? Maybe what happens during the song around you? It's all up to you.
It's great to read something like this though- honestly, I felt the moment.
Keep it up.
40Nev JeeHey, thanks for all your reviews.
You definitely focused on creating an image here. Since I spend half my life at rock shows, I can say you captured the feeling and the incomprehensible magic that happens there. The adoration of imperfection, the suspension of natural superficiality and disbelief: You've got it all in there.
What you're lacking is a real climax. You've created a perfect image of silence, but you need to add something more to really have a beginning, middle, and end to this.
Maybe focus on the response from the crowd upon hearing the song? Maybe what happens during the song around you? It's all up to you.
It's great to read something like this though- honestly, I felt the moment.
Keep it up.
8/22/2004 c1 7Aemilia
Weird...but beautiful. In a creepy way. If that makes sense. Your writing has a great lyrical, poetic style to it. Very interesting piece.
-Aemilia
7AemiliaWeird...but beautiful. In a creepy way. If that makes sense. Your writing has a great lyrical, poetic style to it. Very interesting piece.
-Aemilia
8/22/2004 c1 62graffiti-skies
wow, that ending was so unexpected! luved the details, the description!
62graffiti-skieswow, that ending was so unexpected! luved the details, the description!