for Seer in the Shadows7/5/2005 c4 WithoutOne
Hmm that was a strange encounter, but Its pressing me to keep reading can't stop here for long!
Hmm that was a strange encounter, but Its pressing me to keep reading can't stop here for long!
7/5/2005 c1 WithoutOne
I think the 1st person POV works well for this story so far. Although It's hard to transition her from being 9 to 14 because of it. But thats no fault to you. This story is interesting and I'll be reading more tonight.
I think the 1st person POV works well for this story so far. Although It's hard to transition her from being 9 to 14 because of it. But thats no fault to you. This story is interesting and I'll be reading more tonight.
7/5/2005 c23 
8bulletproof.cupid
Wow... she went through a lot of visions and finally got to the whole death/ seeing the light one. It was her mother hmm. Need to see how she fends off the priestess... and Allyrine should DIE! Right, awesome chapter and thanks very much for the reviews. Adios!
8bulletproof.cupidWow... she went through a lot of visions and finally got to the whole death/ seeing the light one. It was her mother hmm. Need to see how she fends off the priestess... and Allyrine should DIE! Right, awesome chapter and thanks very much for the reviews. Adios!
7/5/2005 c22 bulletproof.cupid
Eek definitely terrifying... but I like the picture of the camp you put in my head. Right, and also the immortal desciption there. I hate having to explain it to my siblings because they don't understand how someone being immortal can die. Lol some good LOTR stuff ;o) Right, the next chapter...
Eek definitely terrifying... but I like the picture of the camp you put in my head. Right, and also the immortal desciption there. I hate having to explain it to my siblings because they don't understand how someone being immortal can die. Lol some good LOTR stuff ;o) Right, the next chapter...
6/24/2005 c21 bulletproof.cupid
Sweet... I liked the little serpent comment there =D I'm beginning to like that emotionless man as well! This chapter wasn't confusing at all... it was a nice twist as a matter of fact. I mean not everyone's going to have a rather pleasant journey. Good work with it. Take care as always,
~Bubbles
Sweet... I liked the little serpent comment there =D I'm beginning to like that emotionless man as well! This chapter wasn't confusing at all... it was a nice twist as a matter of fact. I mean not everyone's going to have a rather pleasant journey. Good work with it. Take care as always,
~Bubbles
6/6/2005 c20 11Cloud Burst
kol. so the story's in motion now, shes to be a guide. lol nice lil twist with allyrine going with them. great chapter! i really liked the first part bout the tale of the dark queen =)
11Cloud Burstkol. so the story's in motion now, shes to be a guide. lol nice lil twist with allyrine going with them. great chapter! i really liked the first part bout the tale of the dark queen =)
6/1/2005 c20 Poppy Pyres
i like how you blurred the 'good'and 'evil' distinctions"just because someone is on the wrong side doesn’t mean their qualities aren’t considerable."I like villains who are human. :)
i like how you blurred the 'good'and 'evil' distinctions"just because someone is on the wrong side doesn’t mean their qualities aren’t considerable."I like villains who are human. :)
6/1/2005 c19 Poppy Pyres
ok, so it was meant to be vague. Again, more character development would be good. You dont have to rush. slow down and add descriptions
ok, so it was meant to be vague. Again, more character development would be good. You dont have to rush. slow down and add descriptions
6/1/2005 c18 Poppy Pyres
You have POV swtiches here, I presume. If you are going to do that, make one POV in italics, or let us know who is speaking, because it is really offputting ^_^
You have POV swtiches here, I presume. If you are going to do that, make one POV in italics, or let us know who is speaking, because it is really offputting ^_^
6/1/2005 c17 Poppy Pyres
sorry, I have been busy latelyI find this plot a little bit vague and hard to follow. Perhaps it is because the plot moves so fast, or because i havent read it for ages. Try developing the characters more, so I can work out which is which. ^_^
sorry, I have been busy latelyI find this plot a little bit vague and hard to follow. Perhaps it is because the plot moves so fast, or because i havent read it for ages. Try developing the characters more, so I can work out which is which. ^_^
6/1/2005 c20 1Heatherika
wow! this is a great story! parts were confusing...but i think i figured out what was confusing me...if that makes any sense...
I don't really like Allyrine...she seems a little creepy to me...hm
i really like this story and i hope you update soon!
1Heatherikawow! this is a great story! parts were confusing...but i think i figured out what was confusing me...if that makes any sense...
I don't really like Allyrine...she seems a little creepy to me...hm
i really like this story and i hope you update soon!
5/29/2005 c20 8bulletproof.cupid
Aww the freaking evil... bitch, if you don't mind me saying so. So she's coming along now. Damn her!
You confused me on the Lance part... how come he was so familiar? Yeah I guess that happens... you know people by face but not their names. But what did he do that mad her so pissed? Did she know him in the past? He seemed so sad... but I like him for some reason.
This is so freaking EPIC! What more can I say... the story, it's as if this really happened in history. Like the Lord of the Rings... now that was AWESOME! You seems to have many ideals in here as well as true morals. Like prejudice against evil people... they're not all evil hmm =) Awesomeness!
Update soon hun. I love this... i mean seriously. Where do you get your ideas from? What inspires you? You're a great writer!
~Bubblegum
8bulletproof.cupidAww the freaking evil... bitch, if you don't mind me saying so. So she's coming along now. Damn her!
You confused me on the Lance part... how come he was so familiar? Yeah I guess that happens... you know people by face but not their names. But what did he do that mad her so pissed? Did she know him in the past? He seemed so sad... but I like him for some reason.
This is so freaking EPIC! What more can I say... the story, it's as if this really happened in history. Like the Lord of the Rings... now that was AWESOME! You seems to have many ideals in here as well as true morals. Like prejudice against evil people... they're not all evil hmm =) Awesomeness!
Update soon hun. I love this... i mean seriously. Where do you get your ideas from? What inspires you? You're a great writer!
~Bubblegum
5/20/2005 c1 6C. X. Blackfeather
I must say this: the word "Prophesier" bothers me very much. My mind keeps saying "it should be 'prophet,' it should be 'prophet'-". But maybe you meant it to sound like "seer"...? And another word you've made up: semi-decade. You might want to say "half a decade" instead. A little bit of a nitpick, yes, but it throws off your flow (at least for me).
Otherwise: I like the start. I shall continue reading.
By the way, the favorite books and authors listed in your profile are also some of my favorites. I think that's cool.
6C. X. BlackfeatherI must say this: the word "Prophesier" bothers me very much. My mind keeps saying "it should be 'prophet,' it should be 'prophet'-". But maybe you meant it to sound like "seer"...? And another word you've made up: semi-decade. You might want to say "half a decade" instead. A little bit of a nitpick, yes, but it throws off your flow (at least for me).
Otherwise: I like the start. I shall continue reading.
By the way, the favorite books and authors listed in your profile are also some of my favorites. I think that's cool.
5/14/2005 c19 8bulletproof.cupid
“It began with the death of a god, and a child called Liaghte...”
WOW! That's all I can say right now.. this seems to epic =) Thanks for clearing out things a bit. I hate Allyrine BTW... you can tell she's jealous and cares for her own safety. Jon, hmm may be he does care for which is great... but yeah, I don't think she see him in -that- way right now. Lol, it seems so pathetic that that's all I'm thinking about... but what can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic =P Thanks for updating. Do you kow, this was one of the first fics I read here on FP... it was actually the very first. I read it on the day you posted chapter 1 =) Awesomeness,
~Bubblegum
8bulletproof.cupid“It began with the death of a god, and a child called Liaghte...”
WOW! That's all I can say right now.. this seems to epic =) Thanks for clearing out things a bit. I hate Allyrine BTW... you can tell she's jealous and cares for her own safety. Jon, hmm may be he does care for which is great... but yeah, I don't think she see him in -that- way right now. Lol, it seems so pathetic that that's all I'm thinking about... but what can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic =P Thanks for updating. Do you kow, this was one of the first fics I read here on FP... it was actually the very first. I read it on the day you posted chapter 1 =) Awesomeness,
~Bubblegum