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for Seer in the Shadows

4/7/2005 c1 73An Inside Joke
Put a blank line between paragraphs to make the text more readable. Everything seemed to happen pretty fast in this chapter, but your narrator was very well developed. The other charecters sort of came and went too quickly.
4/2/2005 c11 Poppy Pyres
"ha, i didnt have a figure" lol very funnyi wonder why she forgot everything? some spell, or because the room was so amazing
4/2/2005 c10 Poppy Pyres
he really really emphasises the aiara name0 i wonder what it means- and whetehr it contains her destinythe fey is very snide
4/2/2005 c9 Poppy Pyres
hi"Seeing no sign that Allyrine was lingered," should be has lingered

"too much, here spoke of past doings" - dont need that comma it disrupts the flow of your poetic story

i let out a soft sigh, and then in the next paragraph i let out a soft curse- i had a sense of deja vous which was scary :)

and Jon I couldn’t see for his back was to me. - as, not forvery good flowing story otherwise
4/1/2005 c14 3Pont
AH! CLIFFIE! *running in circles*Great chappie, drawing parallels between the dream and reality. I love it when you do that ^_^Creepy. Maybe she should take sleeping pills. Do Fey have sleeping pills? Anyways, the council probably won't be happy with her starting a fire in a tree. Why's the old lady keep calling her Aiara? I =knew= that creepy fey dude was evil! Lol, just joking. Is he though? o_o Wanna next chapter! *shifty glances* Keep up the good work!~Ponteh
4/1/2005 c13 Pont
2nd paragraph: "But now u had come" Eheheheh, I think 'u' should probably be 'it'Otherwise, nicely done! Creepy as lizard, but neat! (no offense, I love lizards. That's just how I curse; I use animals. My friends think I'm a maniac) I love your language. That servant-evil-lady is really freaking me out. Same person, right? Ah well, now I'm jumping to conclusions. Might as well go on to the next chappie! See you in chappie 14!(heheh, I notice bad things happening in chappie 13 (dun dun dun). Probably unintentional, but I have a finick for stuff like that. G'job!)Keep up the good work!~Pont
4/1/2005 c12 Pont
Lol. Trees, eh? The thing about the seat not being wood was a good touch. Yikes. (*edges back on her =wood= chair*)Cute chapter. Confusing, but cute. Your chapters are getting shorter, but as long as you keep writing like this, I guess I can't complain. I really like your style.~Pont
4/1/2005 c11 Pont
I don't like Allyrine either. But, meh, I'll tolerate her. ^_^ she =does= make this more interesting...So short, but sweet. You seem to love cliffies. Keep updating!~Pont
3/31/2005 c10 Pont
"“What?” I asked, with amazing wit. " "his head was a huge firefly. It glowed in the night." I love those lines XD You have a really quirky sense of humor, you know that? *huggle* You rock.Ohcay, creepy fay guy probably thousands of years old sore at her for kicking a tree. @_@ Why do I get the feeling we're going to be seeing him again?Your characters are so cute. Can I borrow one? I want to bring them in for show and tell ^_^~Pont
3/31/2005 c9 Pont
"To my surprise, they went down all the stairs we have climbed during the day and exited the tree, going into the forest." might want to change 'have' to 'had' to go with your use of past tense."I let out a soft sigh; too much, here spoke of past doings that I had no knowledge of, and would be the fool to try to get involved." 'the fool' works just fine, but 'a fool' might work better. Great job, creepy fire warning things, very cool, very creepy. What's up with Allyrine and Jon? I don't like her much, Allyrine that is... Jon's cool though. Your characters are great. You could teach disney a lesson! (sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone, but lately the character development in their movies hasn't been too hot, in my opinion of course. Not counting the movies that they work with Dreamworks, Pixar and Ghibili on though. Those are awesome.) Go Islandbreeze! *wavey* *falls over*~Pont
3/31/2005 c8 Pont
Whoo hoo! Girl on a mission! I =love= your characters. Great job!~Pont
3/31/2005 c7 Pont
"The green boy- for could be a child, and then he could be an old man- " Seems a little incomplete, maybe you should add 'for =he= could' to make it more complete."But I had to noticed, the smile did not quite reach her eyes. " I think maybe you changed the tense on this and didn't fix the whole sentence. You should probably either omit the 'had to' and add 'that' after 'noticed', or change 'noticed' to 'notice'. Everything else is fine! Great chappie, I want to know how Jon knows Allyrine (pretty name). Keep up the good work!~Pont
3/31/2005 c6 Pont
Oh squirrel.I feel sorry for her. That has just got to stink. Can't wait for the next chapter (I can't believe I'm not editing anything! This is a whole new experience for me!)~Pont
3/31/2005 c5 Pont
Another masterpiece chapter. I've never liked mirrors anyways. You can't see vampires in them. What's the fun of looking into a mirror if you'll never see a vampire creeping up on you about to pounce?Sorry, spring break is doing strange things to my brain. I love this chapter. Evil servant-girl-lady at least helped break some of the ice between our beloved annorexic fay and chatty prophesier. I love your characters. XD~Pont
3/31/2005 c4 Pont
Whatdidshenotice?This is heating up really fast. Can't wait for the next chappie! You have a wonderful way with words, and your events don't seem too hurried but always grab my attention. I lift my proverbial hat to thee *bow bow*~Pont
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