for Reckless12/12/2005 c1 Flo
That was great! i was gonna do some constructive critisism but i cant think of any! i was also going to make it a longer review - but all that i can say is i loved it! well done
That was great! i was gonna do some constructive critisism but i cant think of any! i was also going to make it a longer review - but all that i can say is i loved it! well done
11/25/2005 c1 me
That was a really good story! It made sense, and the ending was perfect! And the "casual fling" actually tied in! Great job!
That was a really good story! It made sense, and the ending was perfect! And the "casual fling" actually tied in! Great job!
11/11/2005 c1 
10Hell's first Icicle
i swear that's one of the sweetest things i've EVER read. and relli well written, too. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT! *mwahz* so adorable! *faints*
10Hell's first Iciclei swear that's one of the sweetest things i've EVER read. and relli well written, too. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT! *mwahz* so adorable! *faints*
9/11/2005 c1 9Alkali.Alias
Interesting story. You know, I had my suspicions that he was Indian when I first heard his name because it sounded like "Armaan" which is a very good Indian name. Lol, but the ending I never predicted. However, I liked the story a lot. And all the pieces fit together. Hehe, good job.
9Alkali.AliasInteresting story. You know, I had my suspicions that he was Indian when I first heard his name because it sounded like "Armaan" which is a very good Indian name. Lol, but the ending I never predicted. However, I liked the story a lot. And all the pieces fit together. Hehe, good job.
9/9/2005 c1 Simply-Crazy
I'll login and submit another review when I finish reading this, I've only read like a sixth of it so far. I just wante dto say that some of your assumptions of Indian customs are wrong and you aren't being fair by potraying them that way. Indian women can drink alcohol. My mom, fully brought up in India, encourages me to wear shorts because I usually prefer capris. Girls in colleges do the MOST outrageous things you wouldn't dream of here. Being single is not taboo. I don't know, maybe we were just brought up differently, but the way you are presenting it makes Indian culture seems very unopen, which it is not. I mean, my bro's gf is Half-American Half-Russian and my parents have agreed that if he's REALLY serious about her, it's okay. Now my grandma, brought up a generation earlier, is a completely different story. So you see, India has modernized quickly. Ther are malls all over the big cities and the clothes girls wear are no different. In a "shareef" neighbourhood where I went there is a night-club. I mean, it's different.
Anyway, your writing is very good. I read another one of your stories and thought it was excellent. I'm really very sorry if I sounded harsh in the above paragraph but I get very defensive about India. It's like an automatic thing for me. But don't get me wrong, your story, so far, is VERY well-written.
I'll login and submit another review when I finish reading this, I've only read like a sixth of it so far. I just wante dto say that some of your assumptions of Indian customs are wrong and you aren't being fair by potraying them that way. Indian women can drink alcohol. My mom, fully brought up in India, encourages me to wear shorts because I usually prefer capris. Girls in colleges do the MOST outrageous things you wouldn't dream of here. Being single is not taboo. I don't know, maybe we were just brought up differently, but the way you are presenting it makes Indian culture seems very unopen, which it is not. I mean, my bro's gf is Half-American Half-Russian and my parents have agreed that if he's REALLY serious about her, it's okay. Now my grandma, brought up a generation earlier, is a completely different story. So you see, India has modernized quickly. Ther are malls all over the big cities and the clothes girls wear are no different. In a "shareef" neighbourhood where I went there is a night-club. I mean, it's different.
Anyway, your writing is very good. I read another one of your stories and thought it was excellent. I'm really very sorry if I sounded harsh in the above paragraph but I get very defensive about India. It's like an automatic thing for me. But don't get me wrong, your story, so far, is VERY well-written.
9/1/2005 c1 8bulletproof.cupid
haha i knew arman was the guy... and she should have known! his name sounded very indian =) liked what you wrote, from the arranged marriage part to the doctor's not finding jobs and then to the part where the husband must be yadda yadda yadda.
Bhasti pretty much meant shame or dishonour.- btw that's besati (bey-zut-ti)
hmm good work and keep these short stories coming. you're doing an amazing job with em beta ;o) hahaha! adios muchachos,
~bubblegum
8bulletproof.cupidhaha i knew arman was the guy... and she should have known! his name sounded very indian =) liked what you wrote, from the arranged marriage part to the doctor's not finding jobs and then to the part where the husband must be yadda yadda yadda.
Bhasti pretty much meant shame or dishonour.- btw that's besati (bey-zut-ti)
hmm good work and keep these short stories coming. you're doing an amazing job with em beta ;o) hahaha! adios muchachos,
~bubblegum
8/13/2005 c1 1Genuinely-xoxo-Superficial
elevator... oh my gosh that was so embarrassingly funny. Good development of Arman, although you neglected his parents quite a bit.
1Genuinely-xoxo-Superficialelevator... oh my gosh that was so embarrassingly funny. Good development of Arman, although you neglected his parents quite a bit.
8/6/2005 c1 maho.shojo
A Happy Ending to beautiful story for a happy me! Well.. i guess not FOR me.. but read by me.. and other people too. arg. well... A beautiful story! but i guess i already said that.
A Happy Ending to beautiful story for a happy me! Well.. i guess not FOR me.. but read by me.. and other people too. arg. well... A beautiful story! but i guess i already said that.
7/29/2005 c1 Isabela
Very cheesy but ultimately cute. I noticed a mistake in your spanish, though: novia means "girlfriend," not bride. Good job with the story!
Very cheesy but ultimately cute. I noticed a mistake in your spanish, though: novia means "girlfriend," not bride. Good job with the story!
7/21/2005 c1 102backseats on thursdays
Ok, first off-being in Indian-damn, in the begining, if my parents came up to me and told me that, I'd proceed to curse them out in both languages: English AND Hindi. LOL. Second-awesome job. Few off parts here and there though, in the last scene-when Sonya ran off on foot, and he followed, what did the parents do? Just sit there and say timidly, "Nice weather, huh?" lmao. Well, in the oddest sense, I really think that (only if you have the time) you should continue this, and epiloge type thing? Well anyway, well done!
102backseats on thursdaysOk, first off-being in Indian-damn, in the begining, if my parents came up to me and told me that, I'd proceed to curse them out in both languages: English AND Hindi. LOL. Second-awesome job. Few off parts here and there though, in the last scene-when Sonya ran off on foot, and he followed, what did the parents do? Just sit there and say timidly, "Nice weather, huh?" lmao. Well, in the oddest sense, I really think that (only if you have the time) you should continue this, and epiloge type thing? Well anyway, well done!
7/14/2005 c1 judevanderhall
Aw, muy bien, muy bien. That was sweet and I'm a sucker for romances. I loved what Arman said: "Give me six months and I promise I won't take your goldfish as a dowry..." (etc.)
My only criticism is at times she sounds like she's eighteen rather than twenty-six, but her persona was consistent enough. Other than that it was very well written.
Aw, muy bien, muy bien. That was sweet and I'm a sucker for romances. I loved what Arman said: "Give me six months and I promise I won't take your goldfish as a dowry..." (etc.)
My only criticism is at times she sounds like she's eighteen rather than twenty-six, but her persona was consistent enough. Other than that it was very well written.
7/11/2005 c1 3Gonzogrig
the sex scene was a bit long but other than that all i can say is how dare you not want to be a writer. great story. cliche yet original at the same time. oxymoron i know but it's true. you better be an english teacher at least. great work, keep it up
3Gonzogrigthe sex scene was a bit long but other than that all i can say is how dare you not want to be a writer. great story. cliche yet original at the same time. oxymoron i know but it's true. you better be an english teacher at least. great work, keep it up
6/4/2005 c1 zk
um, just one little detail, "a pajama (pants) made of the same material", the pajama is called shalwar... i dont get the thing about being a 26 year old virign. what's wrong about being a virgin! it's not like it's some sort of curse or sumthing.
um, just one little detail, "a pajama (pants) made of the same material", the pajama is called shalwar... i dont get the thing about being a 26 year old virign. what's wrong about being a virgin! it's not like it's some sort of curse or sumthing.
6/4/2005 c1 Madee
Lovely story! I would like to read a second part about their six months courtship. There are a few mistakes in your writing, though. But the worst mistake is the way he calls her, the word is querida. Querido would apply for a man. It probably bothered me to no end, because it is the same word in portuguese.
Lovely story! I would like to read a second part about their six months courtship. There are a few mistakes in your writing, though. But the worst mistake is the way he calls her, the word is querida. Querido would apply for a man. It probably bothered me to no end, because it is the same word in portuguese.