
6/22/2005 c1
32pointythings
Oh, this is so pretty! I love some of the images. Just beautiful. I'm moved almost to tears, especially by the first stanza. You have some very nice repetition in here, and I love the sudden short line at the end of the first stanza. Scanning for negative comment...Only found one (amazing for me). In the second stanza, you repeat the line 'soft and vivid' in rapid succession. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but I don't think it works.Other than that, this is really very lovely. Keep writing!Yours in writing,~pointythings~

Oh, this is so pretty! I love some of the images. Just beautiful. I'm moved almost to tears, especially by the first stanza. You have some very nice repetition in here, and I love the sudden short line at the end of the first stanza. Scanning for negative comment...Only found one (amazing for me). In the second stanza, you repeat the line 'soft and vivid' in rapid succession. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but I don't think it works.Other than that, this is really very lovely. Keep writing!Yours in writing,~pointythings~
3/26/2005 c1 Blood Stained Tourniquet
Megan, Its a shame this shall never happen with all the decisions you make on you own. Maybe its better you only have a silhouette and not the real person. You decide.
Megan, Its a shame this shall never happen with all the decisions you make on you own. Maybe its better you only have a silhouette and not the real person. You decide.