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3/29/2005 c1 26Kris 56
Pretty...And you followed the Haiku format! Very nicely done!
12/29/2004 c1 27Krys
Very lovely use of figurative language (with the 'melted away' thing), or maybe you were being quite literal. That's the beauty of poetry, that it really doesn't matter. Great piece though. I can actually see a man laying his head on the stomach of a woman and as soon as he touches her she dissapears into the sheets, or couch or whatever she is laying or sitting on. I like the simplicity and yet the idea is very strong and disturbing. Great job!~Krys
12/4/2004 c1 22MorbidMan
Nice one. Liked it a lot. You seem to have stopped writing horror stories. May I inquire as to why? Anyway, really nice haiku.
11/5/2004 c1 29white-clouds
This is FANTASTIC. Dark...
~Lara;)
10/21/2004 c1 58Sage Valkisco
The word silver and melted so pop out at me...don't ask me...lovely...I miss your old stories...
10/18/2004 c1 9JennyAnnM
Very beautiful and chilling. I love the simplicity of haikus.
10/17/2004 c1 David Stephen
I love Haikus and I LOVE this! The writing is so good you almost want to eat it - it is expressed in a delicious and fluent way which provides a vivid and approachable picture to the reader! Keep at it! ~David~
10/3/2004 c1 kobebeefcake
Eerie and the kind of piece that can make your mind stop and wonder, 'hey, wait a minute...' and just freeze. I sense the tragedy in this, almost like Death. Great piece.
10/2/2004 c1 28Muselee
I really like this one-it evokes very strong images for me. The others are very simple and likeable, but I think this is wonderful. I'd love to know what inspired it, but that's your secret to keep.
9/19/2004 c1 43Toph Gonzalez
Beautiful, best haiku you've written yet.
9/19/2004 c1 9twilightwriter07
Feels spooky in a way...love the haiku. Nice work, Written in Darkness. =)
9/19/2004 c1 57teh tarik
That was beautiful. I loved that last line; that was a really great way to decribe something or someone vanishing.
9/19/2004 c1 Infamous Writer
That was... awesome. You rock at haikus, man. This had such vivid description and had a good feel to it. Keep writing these, Will. ~I.W.

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