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11/30/2004 c1 rachel
hey! i really liked this, only a few minor grammatical errors (i notice those sorts of things) the past tense of "wave" is "waved," not wove. and it said "i could believe my luck," and i think you meant "i could not believe my luck." also in paragraphs 11&12, you used the word "grinning" twice, very near each other. this is just my personal preference, but you might want to use a synonym - it stilts the story un peu. i am so jealous that you can write in the fantasy genre - i'm not creative that way at all. i need something to happen to me or to someone i know before i can write about it. p.s. phoenixes are soo cool

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