for Me? A Savior?10/3/2004 c2 Michael Preston
I am interested in seeing where this is going, but try and make the chapters longer and have more detail.
Your first two real chapters are only just over half as long as the PROLOGUE to my first story here (http:/w.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1733239).
I will continue to read this if you update it, it is going okay, storywise, but doesn't captivate me. Explain things more, describe things. I don't have any basis to imagine what Tyme looks like!
The first person perspective is alright, though. I never used to like it, but another story here convinced me otherwise.
Write the next chapter, but make it twice as long as the previous two put together. Set a target for yourself, don't just try and get the message across as quickly as possible.
(BTW, if you could review mine, it would be great :p)
http:/w.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1733239
I am interested in seeing where this is going, but try and make the chapters longer and have more detail.
Your first two real chapters are only just over half as long as the PROLOGUE to my first story here (http:/w.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1733239).
I will continue to read this if you update it, it is going okay, storywise, but doesn't captivate me. Explain things more, describe things. I don't have any basis to imagine what Tyme looks like!
The first person perspective is alright, though. I never used to like it, but another story here convinced me otherwise.
Write the next chapter, but make it twice as long as the previous two put together. Set a target for yourself, don't just try and get the message across as quickly as possible.
(BTW, if you could review mine, it would be great :p)
http:/w.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1733239