for Farewell Dawn10/24/2004 c1 Ariaenia
Nice work, not a typical vampire story, with a great use of descriptive language.Keep writing!
Nice work, not a typical vampire story, with a great use of descriptive language.Keep writing!
10/24/2004 c1 
22Hikari5
Well written, I'm not going to lie, vampires frighten me a bit. Well, not so much the concept of vampirism as the concept of someone changing, becoming fundamentally different. Of course, losing your soul may have that effect on a person. Anyway, there's a lot of showing going on in this story and not a lot of telling, which is great. Keep up the good work
22Hikari5Well written, I'm not going to lie, vampires frighten me a bit. Well, not so much the concept of vampirism as the concept of someone changing, becoming fundamentally different. Of course, losing your soul may have that effect on a person. Anyway, there's a lot of showing going on in this story and not a lot of telling, which is great. Keep up the good work
10/22/2004 c3 8Sarabii
i love this story and i think you should keep going with it. As fast as you like though.(please be quick)I wish you good ideas for the future!
8Sarabiii love this story and i think you should keep going with it. As fast as you like though.(please be quick)I wish you good ideas for the future!
10/11/2004 c1 pewpewpera fah wef
Oh, interesting. Only one thing I would suggest and that would be to start a new paragraph when someone new talks, it helps the reader to follow the dialect better. Other than that, this is great. I like it and I want more. Now. Lol...
happy hunting,
~Midnight Predator~
Oh, interesting. Only one thing I would suggest and that would be to start a new paragraph when someone new talks, it helps the reader to follow the dialect better. Other than that, this is great. I like it and I want more. Now. Lol...
happy hunting,
~Midnight Predator~