10/16/2004 c1 13Eyes Unclouded
Very good beginning, short and sweet. A few mistakes, however (it says "shill" instead of "chill" in the first line and later it says "my" instead of "me"). Also, maybe you shouldn't be so obvious about who Jem is, like keep it a little more secret and mysterious. But, I like it and I'll be back to read more once you get some more chapters! :D