11/21/2004 c1 31Quip Clip
First of all I'd like to say that I do not appreciate people preaching to me after they read my poetry. If you had taken the time to read any of my other poems, you may have realized that this isn't just about something I did wrong. Your sermon doesn't make sense, either. I *am* "looking at the Bible and not the people." If I was looking at the people, I would have written a poem about hypocrites and "nominal Christians," as you call them, but I didn't. This was between me and God. There are things here that you know nothing about, though you might if you read my other poems. Don't judge before you know the whole story.

Anyway, about *this* poem...

First of all, the rhyming is inconsistent. Every so often there's a couple lines next to each other that rhyme, but the rest of the stanza doesn't, and there is no consistent pattern. That makes for bad poetry. Also involved in this is the topic of meter. It's fine if you want to write freeform poetry - I like to, as well - but you need to make sure it's *entirely* freeform, and not mixed with rhyming, metered forms. Your first couple lines are metered, and once again it's sprinkled throughout but not consistently.

I'm not going to say anything about the message of the poem. Whatever makes you happy, good for you. Just, next time try not to tell me I'm wrong before you know anything about me.

~ Gretchen

11/5/2004 c1 20Nanners
I love this, although I can't really think of anything else to say. It's just really good, and certainly a good deal of us can identify! Lovely! ^_^